I now know what it means. Beau got in trouble at school yesterday and I reamed the vice Principals ass. Not to worry I reamed Beau's ass the whole way home. Work sucked today. And I was so mean to my was-been that it even surprised me. Part of it is me setting boundaries. But the other part is me not talking to my sponsor enough, not praying enough, not working with others enough...you get the point.
I was a very mean drunk and being mean sober really upsetting to me. It is old behavior and it makes me sad to see it pop back up. So I will get on the things I know I need to do. And be grateful that I have a solution today.