Monday, February 23, 2015

What if everything you've ever wanted....

was on the other side of fear? I think we think our way out of our dreams coming true. Not thinking we're good enough, thinking our dreams are too big to every accomplish - really thinking anything other then every dream we're ever had coming true is why they don't.

I know my business will be a success
I know I will meet the love of my life
I know I will always be able to provide for my family

How do you know? Faith told me so.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

No Game

I had  a girlfriend call last week with a broken had happened again. Meet a man, he says and does all of the right things. claims his love for you - but in a matter of weeks - bam- it's over, just like that. Leaving a bright, beautiful and brilliant women feeling alone and confused thinking that she has done something wrong.

My words to her were this.. find one without game. One who doesn't have all of the beautiful words to get you in the sack. One who is a bit shy and reserved. One you have to crack open to get to the good stuff.

I know the following is a bit  harsh but it is my observation and I am going to share it... What I have found is that men with game (all the right words) in the end are either mildly sociopathic or at the lease misogynists. They normally had to be very manipulative  to get the love and attention from the most important women in their lives (Like their Mom - which is super sad and unfair)

Game = Mommy issues (most of the time) My maternal instant wants to parent, love and fix broken men. But the fact is it doesn't work. No matter how hard I try I will never be able to fix the pain and hurt of poor parenting. Nothing I can do will ever be good enough to fill that void - trust me I've tried.

My advice to her (and myself) is this......find a shy one that loves his Mom.

Friday, February 13, 2015

50 Shades of Grey

I'm sitting in the movie theater by myself in the middle of the day waiting for 50 Shades of Grey to start.

I'll let you know how it is. 😊

Here is a post I left on a FB debate about 50 shade of Grey.....

A lot of people seem to think that it promote domestic violence and the poor treatment of women. They are entitled to their opinion,  but you wanna know what I think? I think it promotes better sex. 

Emily Sadler The second he inflicted actual pain on her she walked. I actually think she's a badass and truly out of the two of them she's the one that had control. People should read all 3 book before making a judgment.
Like · Reply · 23 · 9 hrs

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Why is the Cubs my Happy Place?

Every time I go see my friends at the Cubs Spring stadium I Facebook that I am at my "happy place" Yesterday it dawned on me that maybe you were wondering why a baseball stadium would ever be my happy place. I can explain...

5 year ago I walked into the Chicago Cubs Spring training facility broken, broke, sad and afraid. I was at my worst- or at least the worst I had been in sobriety. My heart was so broken that I could hardly take a full breath. And I was so poor that I literally ran out of gas on the way there. I was there to be the caterer having no clue that what I was going to find there was a brand new life.  I found confidence and friendship. I found a break from the shattering loneliness I was living with. I spend a lot of time there, even when I wasn't working. It was truly the place that made me the happiest. It wasn't a bad deal for Gavin either as  he truly loves everything about the sport of baseball, so being able to "play" in a stadium was pretty magical to him too.

It will always, always hold a special place in my heart. <3 nbsp="" p="">

Thursday, February 5, 2015


There's something about me that I don't like to admit - not even to myself. But they say we're only sick as our secrets so maybe if I let it out it'll fade away… I am easily annoyed -  sounds people make, little quirks, shit sometimes people in general just annoy me. I have very little tolerance for behavior that I deem intolerable. 

This whole being annoyed and irritated thing is getting a little bit out of control. I would hate to think that that's just me...that I am this irritatable intolerant women. :/ 

I know the fact of the matter is That I am not spiritually fit right now. Spiritual people don't feel like punching others for gulping or chewing too loudly. Spiritually fit people have love and tolerance for their fellow man. 

I am doing everything I can to take care of my current spiritual condition...but between now and then if I do something unloving or intolerant to you please know it is me not you - and that I am sorry ❤️

Monday, February 2, 2015

Doing the next right thing...

There are times I'm not sure what the next right thing to do is but I'm normally pretty clear on what the next wrong action to take is. I'm uncomfortable, lonely and going through a mass amount of growth. My will wants to reach out and fill that void with something finding a man or eating crappy food or whatever is temporarily gonna make me feel better. I  know that is not the answer and I know if I just hold on the uncomfortableness will pass. 

I am doing everything that I was taught to do. I'm going to meetings and working with other alcoholics. I'm eating healthy and doing yoga. I'm doing step work and digging deeper into the things that are affecting me in my life today.

  I'm doing all of these things even though what I really want to do is crawl up in bed and not get out for the rest of the month but instead I will ... Just keep swimming…