Sunday I took a deep breath and asked the advice of another alcoholic....that is of course after signing up for Match.com to try and fill the void - seriously!? Cause trying to fix the issue with more of the exact same issue always works great!
Anyway back to the advice of the other alcoholic...she asked if I had ever done a mini 4th step on relationships (4th step is taking a inventory) I said "no" and asked her if I had to go all the way back to my Dad (who is probably the root of these issues) she loving said "no." Thank God! She suggested that I inventory all of my relationships since my divorce. I started the work this morning and right away saw a pattern that was upsetting. That's the thing about having a bit of time in recovery...you can see your own shit. I only got a little bit of it done today - as I found it very uncomfortable work! Baby steps.
Here's the deal with doing painful work - it is alway, always worth it. God has shown me this time and time again. I trust the process of the steps. So I will do my work. I will face and look at things that may make me uncomfortable or upset, because God is trying to clear the way for something great - I have full faith in that.
This too shall pass.