Thursday, September 25, 2014


I'm am a Mother, daughter, business owner, employee, blogger, public speaker, yogi and a women in recovery...... BALANCE - without it I am a mess. Shit, who am I kidding even when I have it I'm sometimes a mess. 

When I first got sober I had two things to balance - being a Mom and staying sober. That was all I had in me. I had nothing more to give. I was really sick. At the end of the day when I layed my head down sober I had accomplished all I needed to. 

It's still the same really - if I stay sober it's a win. But sobriety has given me this big huge full life that I am so, so grateful for that.  I think the gratitude is the reason that sometimes I feel like I need to do it all perfectly. Perfectionism...ugh! 

Lately I've had to go back to the basics and remind myself to love and embrace the beautiful blessing of my sobriety and to stay in the moment. 

As busy and crazy as it can be, my life is truly blessed.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Setting a Goal

I have a friend who just started blogging, and does it daily. It's a nice treat to know that when I click on his blog there will be fresh content for me to read. That use to be the case on here. In fact you could click on here numerous times per day and find something new. Then life happened....which I am so not complaining about, but I made a commitment when I started this blog that it would always be here - that it wouldn't be the kind of blog you feel in love with and then disappeared. I promised myself that I would blog in sickness and in health, that I would share my heart with you, and I hoped in return you would share your heart with me and the other readers....and for a very long time that is exactly what happened. It was amazing.

I am sorry if you are on of those readers who looked forward to content,  and then clicked on here only to find less and less of it over the years.

I am good at sticking to the goals I set. So I am setting a goal to blog more often. (((hug)))  

Monday, September 22, 2014

Annette visits Arizona

If you've read for any amount of time then chances are you know who Annette is...if not, she is the first friend I made on emilyism. She saw my article in People magazine and then emailed me. It's been insta friendship since. She has been the emilyism editor and quite often the comment moderator. There was a time when people had to be reminded that this blog is here to be a safe place for people to share their hope, fear, happiness and struggles - the only way to do that is to keep it kind and loving in the comment section. There's enough blogs out there where people can be assholes - this is not one of them.

I don't know if Annette knows this but there was a time in recovery where she absolutely saved my ass. After the Dr. Phil show came out I was so overwhelmed that I could hardly function. On top being totally overwhelmed from the show I was also going through a horrible break up and I had decided to quit smoking - because God forbid I do anything in moderation. She sent me a meeting reminder e-mail every morning through that time. Some times they were serious, sometimes they were very funny, but they came like clock work every morning. They were a life line and the thing I used to tell myself that I was okay.  Here she was thinking I was saving her ass, when truly she was saving mine (God is so smart) I am truly blessed to have her in my life.

We had a wonderful visit this weekend. Were's a picture to prove it.....

Thursday, September 18, 2014

No Time

I just recently rejoined Weight Watchers and went back to yoga. I am in my first year of starting a  business. I took on a part-time job that is quickly turning into a full-time one. I am raising two teenage sons - all while trying to work a recovery program strong enough to keep me sane and sober. It's a lot.

Don't get me wrong - I am not complaining. I have an amazing life. The only reason I am bringing it up is an x-boyfriend said I was incapable of being in a emotionally healthy relationship. He was wrong - I am capable - I am just too fucking busy catching up on the 10 years of life I missed while I was shit faced.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Sunday Sober Fact:

The thing is you don't want to tell your sponsor are the things you need to tell your sponsor.

Monday, September 1, 2014

Baby Steps

As my last few post talked about, I've been in a bit of a change/depression/funk whatever you want to call it. The answer to these spells is always the same....

Baby steps. 

If I go into panic mode and scurry about trying to change everything at once I end up crashing and burning. But if I take a deep breath, put my faith in God, and put one foot in front of the other I do okay. 

More meetings, healthy eating, back to yoga........and in time the funk lifts - it always does. 

I would be wise to remember that when I get off course it is always the same result...ugh.