Tuesday, April 22, 2014

A Woman's Love

I can't remember the last time that I was in love. Okay, so that's a lie- I actually can. I got crushed. The story is on this blog. Heartbreaks in sobriety are a shitty deal. But that heartbreak taught me something amazing - actually a whole lot of amazing things. It taught me that I could go through excruciating pain and not drink, it taught me that I didn't need to get another boyfriend to heal the pain and that in fact I needed to do exactly the opposite. It showed me what co-dependancy was. And through the healing process I learned that I never have to be codependent on another human being again. I learned that I was women of  grace and strength. I wouldn't change one minute of that heartbreak. And I would go through it all over again in order to walk away with the lessons and wisdom that I learned.

With that being said there is one hurdle that I am facing - I am petrified to love that way again. I reread something today that totally helped me to understand why I would be scared.

I am this girl once I am completely and totally in love....

Nothing on this planet can compare to with a woman's love. It is kind and compassionate, patient and nurturing, generous and sweet - unconditional. Pure. If you are her man she will walk on water and through a mountain for you too, no matter how you've acted out, no matter what crazy things you've done, no matter the time or demand. She will encourage you when you are at rock bottom and think there isn't any way out.  Hold you in her arms when you were sick and laugh with you when you are up. And if you're her man and that woman loves you - I mean really loves you - she will shine you up when you are dusty, encourage you when you are down, defend you even when she's not sure you are right, and hang on your every word, even when you're not saying anything worth listening to. No matter what you do, or what you say she will give you her very best, and then some, and then keep right on giving. That is a women's  love it stand the test of time, logic, and all circumstances.

See scary........


  1. Dear Emily,

    I just wanted to let you know I am beginning my Journey with you. You kept me sober last night and I woke up at 6am feeling good. I can't remember the last time I saw 6 am! So Today is my official 24 hour mark. I started reading your blog hit and miss last year, but last evening I started from the beginning, got through January 2010. I took your daily thoughts, prayers and words of wisdom to "do something for yourself today that will make you feel good tomorrow". And last night as I went to my first class (again) I heard the words that 'whatever you put before your sobriety, you will lose'. Now, I heard that for the first time last night, then I read it in your blog and it stuck, sank in. And I reflected deeper on the meaning. Real deep. Thank you God, thank you Emily!

  2. You have no clue how much your words mean to me. I made a decision yesterday to stop blogging - your touching words have made me reconsider.

    How are you doing?