Tuesday, January 28, 2014

The UnBlogging Blogger

If you know me in real life you know that I'm pretty simple and not really all that wordy. It makes me excellent at tweeting and facebooking. Getting out what I need to get said quickly and in as few words as possibly is the way I roll. 

But here's the problem with that - right now to make ends meet I'm running social media for businesses - I can rock twitter and Facebook - but what everyone really wants is a blogger. You may be all like, what? You are a blogger, Emily! And you're right, I am! But if you go back and read my blog posts you'll find that they aren't really all that long. I'm scared I don't have enough content in my head to pull it off. 

This one is sooo in Gods hands - if the content is to flow it going to have to come from him - or Annette who can rock a long blog post like nobody's business!! LOL 

Monday, January 27, 2014

Happy 14th Birthday, Gavin!

Today is Gavin's 14th Birthday. God, what a joy he has been. He such a funny, neat kid - and I'm not just saying that because I'm his Mom. He really doesn't like when I talk about him on the blog - so I'll keep it short. 

Gavin Dean,
You are amazing and funny, and so so caring. The quote above is totally true - your kind ways steal the hearts of everyone in your path. I love you more that words can say. 

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Today I'm Crying

I always say that crying is God's antibiotic. So I'm not looking at this cry baby day as a bad thing - because I know it's not. It just is what it is. I'm trying not to wrap my brain around any particular reason that I am crying, and instead looking at it as a much needed dose of God's healing love.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

You find out who your friends are....

There's a country song that says "you find out who your friends are, somebody's going to drop everything" to know that I don't just have one of those - but a team of them, makes me cry. It felt like it was operation Emily these past two weeks. I never once felt like I was doing it alone, and for a single Mom who actually really does do it alone -  that's a pretty big deal. 

I had one of those friend remind me that I had done it for her once. People don't forget, they don't forget who is there for them in time of fearful need. I am blessed to not only have friends who are there for me, but to be a friend who is there for them. 

Friendship is one of the greatest blessings of my sobriety. 

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

The job hunt....

Okay so this whole job hunt deal is an open can of vulnerability whoop ass. I don't  like rejection -at all- and that's really all a job hunt is. You send out resumes and get no response -rejection- yuck! 

I'm doing a decent job on not taking it personally and staying on track. Not having a job is scary though. No matter how much faith you have, it is still scary. But I know if I crawl into that place of fear I'll fall into a depression. And when I say -ain't nobody got time for that- that is exactly what I mean. 

Thursday, January 9, 2014

The Job Situation

Here's the situation - I don't have one. 

Ball Buster

Who am I really? What's underneath my coat of armor? Which come to find out is super thin. People in my world see this strong, independent, ball buster. I'm not, that's not really who I am. It is who I have had to become. And when you get underneath the armor it is not who I am at all - at least the ball buster part. 

I am walking this fine mental line right now between thinking that I need the strength of a loving man to feel safe - but on the flip side the strong, independent single Mom in me is thinking she should never again let her stability or security depend on a man. Makes dating kind of a bitch :) 

I know, I know it'll come when it's meant to, don't force it, you'll find love when you're least expecting it - I KNOW! They say loves comes when you stop looking, when you stop wanting...if that's the case, if that's truly the case - it should happen any time now....

Saturday, January 4, 2014

My Intentions for 2014

Every January I take some time to set intentions for the New Year.  I'm a big believer in setting your goals, your intentions, your dreams so high that you can't fathom them coming true. That way you know - you know without a doubt that it was God.

So here I go....
-to grow closer to God, and to practice staying in the present moment
-by the end of 2014  to be debt free
-to reach my desired income goal
-to achieve my perfect body by 40 (we'll talk more about what "my perfect" means in a later post)
-to maintain a clean, neat, and organized home
-to publicly speak, write a book, be on TV and see this blog go viral

Ready, set, go..............

Wednesday, January 1, 2014


Forgiving ourselves. I have made a lot of mistakes...a lot! I have done things, and said things, and thought things that I am ashamed of. I am far from perfect. I am human and part of being human is being flawed. 

A commentor asked about forgiving ourselves. It can be a huge task in soberity, as no one makes it into recovery with out some major screw ups. But here's the deal, here's what I think about that - we go through our lives, we make mistakes (sometimes huge ones) we hurt people, we burn bridges, we aren't always honest, and in the end we normally are left with nothing, not even our spirit. 

but there's a reason why - and that reason is beautiful, and powerful and Gods grace. I've said it many times, we go through what we go through to help the next person who needs to go through it. It's not complicated, it's not personal - it is our journey and our reason for being here. I promise you if you are following Gods will people will walk into your life who need only one thing from you, and that is for you to share your mistakes as honestly as you can, and share that there is a solution no matter how bad it is. So you see you've already been forgiven ... God had you go through anything and everything you have been through for a reason, and that reason is so you can help others with the wisdom you have learned from your experiences. 

You are loved and you are forgiven.