Hello everyone! Annette here with a brief update about how it's going for me today.....Today has been a really good day - attended 2 meetings and met with my mentor for lunch - I'm working on doing an inventory right now. I've done this before, but it's time for another one. I have been sober now since November 5, 2013 - not sure how many days that is off the top of my head....I'm trying to stay in the moment and just remember that I'm sober TODAY. Since deciding not to go to inpatient treatment because of insurance reasons, I have thrown myself into my program of recovery attending 2-3 classes a day, going to lunch and/or coffee with other sober women, trying to be of service as often as I can, working with my mentor on my program, getting on my knees every morning and asking God to help me to stay sober today, reading daily readings from 3 different books and finally getting on my knees again at night before I go to bed to say thank you to God for keeping me sober today. My husband and I went to our first counseling session together last week - it was very productive - and we continue to see him going forward. We are also seeing him as a family this Wednesday - me, my husband and our 2 boys.....must say I'm a bit nervous about the appointment. Guess I'm a little afraid to hear what my boys have to say about all of this - afraid to hear their feelings.....it's not going to be easy, but I think there will be some healing come from it. We'll decide after Wednesday how often to continue seeing our counselor as a family and/or if he maybe suggests seeing the boys one-on-one - like my recovery program, I will listen to the counselor's suggestions and follow them - again, my way of doing things hasn't been real successful lately - actually it's never been successful!
Everyday has not been kittens and rainbows for me....last Wednesday I had physical cravings that were screaming at me to go get a drink - I went to a class and lunch with 3 other sober women instead.....Friday I built up this stupid but powerful resentment against my husband and carried it with me all night Friday ....I went to bed with the plan that on Saturday I was going to s
skip my meeting and lunch with my sober girlfriend and go drink....by the Grace of God, that thought had left my head by the time I woke up on Saturday morning, and I kept with my original plan of attending my meeting and doing lunch with my sober girlfriend. Looking back, I should have called someone Friday nightwhen the resentment hit me, but I'm still a work in progress and didn't say anything until the next day. I need to get it through my thick skull that saying how I'm feeling out loud to another person in recovery is the best thing I can do for myself & my sobriety....so I brought up what happened Friday night at both of my classes today and feel much better even though I didn't act on it Saturday. I need to remember that my secrets keep me sick and keeping crazy thoughts in my head and not saying them out loud will lead me to drink.
All I can tell you about today is that I am grateful to be sober today, I'm grateful for Emily and all of you readers out there, I'm grateful for my family that hasn't given up on me (yet), I'm thankful for the amazing relationships I have with the sober women in my life and I am thankful for God's Grace and Forgiveness.....He is with me always and I need not forget that for a second!
Would love to hear some of your stories - believe it or not, sharing your story might help you to stay sober and it will definitely help me to stay sober :)
Hope everyone has a wonderful & blessed Thanksgiving!!!!