Monday, December 31, 2012


2012 was the best year of my life-hands down. Last year I set some intentions, and every one if them came true. I'm living the life of my dreams. If an outsider looked at my life they may see a life far from perfect...but for me, for this alcoholic it has met and exceeded every expectation I ever could have had.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Sent from my iPhone

Sent from my iPhone

Monday, December 24, 2012

'Twas the Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house kids are running crazy, no one's as quiet as any kind of mouse. The stockings are hung by the entry way table with with every year-Santa knows they are there. I in my uggs and John in his cap would very much like to settle in for some kind of nap.

While out from behind the Christmas tree there arose such a clutter-I sprung to my feet to see what was the was just Elfvis "our elf on the shelf" behind naughty as normal, just being himself.

I"M BACK....
It's 2 days after Christmas, the decorations are put away and life is starting to get back to normal. I love Christmas-but I also love when it's over :)

Saturday, December 22, 2012


Testing :)
Sent from my iPhone

Sober Christmas

Another sober Christmas...another Christmas I will remember...another Christmas that I will gratefully not make an ass of myself...another Christmas that it will be about Jesus and not about me...another Christmas that I will try to help people...another Christmas I will not be drinking   and driving...another Christmas that I can be proud of....another Christmas-leading into another year of sobriety and grace...for that I am THANKFUL.

Friday, December 21, 2012

4 Days till Christmas

Okay-would you like to explain to me how that happened?? Where the heck did the month go?? I am grateful to say that I am almost finished Christmas shopping, but all of the other 100 things that I wanted to do this holiday season aren't done-dang it! We did bake sugar cookies, and go look at lights....but we didn't go to Zoo lights, or the train park...or-or-or.......

I guess I'll talk about "enough" it never feels like enough for me -we haven't done enough cool stuff, I haven't bought enough presents, we don't have enough decorations-whatever it is I don't ever feel that it is enough................yes, it is part of our dieEASE. Never enough alcohol, or food, or men, or WHATEVER...

So this year I am telling myself it is enough. It is perfect, and everything is magical, and bright, and wonderful-and most of all ENOUGH.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

No Comments

I feel like having a bit of a tantrum over the fact no one comments any makes me :(

I went to a funeral today...that also made me :(

Besides that life is good.

Now you go...

Saturday, December 15, 2012


Last night I held my kids just a little bit tighter. I appreciated my life just a little bit more.

As I took a moment to be heartbroken for the families that will never be able to hold their children again. My God-I can't even imagine, I won't lie...I questioned my faith for a second, and asked God what the fuck he was thinking letting that happen. But I know all to well that if we question the tragedy's, we then have to question all of the miracles.

I mentally moved on to how I would present this horrible information to my 12 year old. Do we talk about evil? Do we talk about mentally illness? What do I do when he questions God? How the hell do you tell a 12 year that some crazy ass shot 20 innocent babies for no reason. How do you turn that into a life lesson of any kind.....I did my best, thanks to a face book friend.....

Mr Roger Mom once told him that in the face of tragedy look for the helpers. They will always be there. Focus on that. That is what I told Gavin yesterday. I told him about what happened, and told him that when he sees it on TV to focus on the helpers. There will be many. I then told him to always try to be one.

It is a bitter sweet thing that tragedy brings us closer together, the pain unites us, the sorrow spreads love and empathy......What if we could learn to do that without tragedy's? Would they stop happening?

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

In the Moment

My job is crazy town right now, I go to meetings,  I have 3 sponcees, a boyfriend, 2 kids, I do yoga, I'm on weight watchers....but yet I still have time to go to crazy town in my mind-it's flipping ridiculous.

I have mentally been all over the place lately. So far out the moment that I'm missing them. I have an amazing life, but by not staying in the present second I miss it. The magic in life happens in the moment...not in the past, not in mentally making up you future...but in the moment-and I know this...yet time and time again lately I feel myself needing to mentally reel it back in. I suppose I should just be grateful that I have tools and the ability to "reel back in", I didn't always-and it sucked.

Dear Lord,
Please help me stay in the moment, and enjoy the love-grace-and sobriety you have blessed me with. Thank you, thank you, thank you.