I had some friends suffer a great loss this week, the greatest one you could ever have actually. I went through every emotion. I just got back for a gather with them. I cried the whole way home. Nobody should have to go through what they are. It breaks my fucking heart...but you see I can feel it, and for me that is new. If they needed me I could show up today, and that is also new. As I much as I cared, and wanted to be there for people, I never really was. Not if it got in the way of me, my drinking, or what I wanted. I know I am all over the board tonight, but it's just where I am right now.
And for my dear friends-
I pray for Gods grace, may the Angel you now have show up in brilliant and amazing places to bless you. She was a bright light, and every single person that knew her was blesses. You are in my thoughts and prayers.