Monday, February 27, 2012
Thinking back to when alcohol controlled my life...my brain...my spirit...my happiness...thinking back (as hard as it is) to when alcohol was my God. If it is true that what we think about the most is our God then for sure alcohol was mine. I planned my life around it. Towards the end activities without alcohol were unheard of. I now know that it was my feelings I was trying to mask...my emotions....I get it now (well sorta) I feel my feelings today, and sometimes it sucks, but most of the time I am grateful to have a full range of emotions. During my drinking days I only had drunk or anger. Alcohol no longer owns my mind or spirit...but I know that my alcoholism is just sitting there waiting to take me back. Sneaky disease it is. Telling us that we aren't sick.......sneaky fucker.