Sunday, September 18, 2011

Sobriety Sunday

Happy Sunday to everyone! I'd like to begin by saying how sorry I am that Emily's son, Beau, had to endure such a violent attack by a fellow student. Sustaining injuries like that, both physical and emotional/mental is something we never want our babies to endure.....but we live in a crazy world where we can't keep them safe at all times. It's very unfortunate and I truly hope that his school takes a more active stance on bullying......and Em, I trust that you will be heading this up :) I do hope that Beau is feeling a bit better and I'll be sending my "Beau-nation" in the mail tomorrow :)

I AM GRATEFUL TO BE SOBER THIS WEEKEND MORE SO THAN ANY OTHER WEEKEND I'VE EXPERIENCED THUS FAR IN MY SOBRIETY!!!! My son had his 1st High School Homecoming this past weekend - it was a very exciting time! A time that, had I still been actively drinking, I would have been partaking in an adult beverage or 2, or 3, or 4, etc. to celebrate the occasion......just as if it were "my" 1st Homecoming. I would have had drinks with friends, in inconspicuous cups of course, at the tailgate at the school Fri nite before the game, would have given a shit less about the ceremony on the field honoring current & veteran military - no way would I have even "thought" about wearing my uniform and being honored on the would take me away from my adult beverage - HELL NO!!! I would have needed drinks to de-stress when we were getting ready for the dance last nite....I had to get ready b/c my hubs & I chaperoned at the dance.....therefore I would have been at least tipsy while on duty. I would have been driving my son & his friends around while drinking....and I probably would have been at the adult Homecoming after-party that was being held at a friend's house on the 1st floor, still drinking - of course, while the kids attended the teen after-party at the same house in the basement. I would have been well on my way when it was discovered that 2 of the boys in the basement had brought their own alcohol to the teen party and one of them was drunk and stumbling. I wouldn't have been in my right mind to deal with the situation and the consequences for not only the boys that brought the booze, but all those that were "there" and therefore guilty by association. I would have been drunk when the varsity football coach showed up to deal with the 2 players that brought the booze.


I was sober, 100% present and ready to deal - head on - with whatever the weekend brought - good or bad. There were probs between my son and his date....but I didn't drink; going to a H.S. football game is a tiny trigger for me.....but I didn't drink; a little nervous and shy about being honored on the field for my service.....but I didn't drink; a little nervous about chaperoning at the dance.....but I didn't drink.

On our way to drop the boys off at the after party girl's house, I was prepared to go to the door and speak with her parents...I knew they were having an adult party upstairs and was somewhat hesitant about allowing my son to go, but decided to gauge the parents condition and decide right there on their front porch - you know, go with my gut feeling. Well.......we never even made it all the way to the girl's house. We were pulling onto her street and saw lots of kids walking "away" from the house, we stopped, asked my son's friends what was goin on, they said, "just turn around, don't go in there, 2 guys brought alcohol to the party and one of them is drunk and the parents found out and it's not good - just go home and we'll talk tomorrow"....then someone added, "the football coach is on his way over here right now". Right then, at that very moment, I think I was THE MOST GRATEFUL that I've been during the entire course of my sobriety that I was a sober parent, present and able to make the next right decision regarding my son and his friends that were in my care. I turned my car around, me & the boys talked about the situation, what the consequences for all those involved might be, especially given that their football coach had been notified, those involved facing and/or explaining everything to their parents - it was a good talk and a valuable lesson learned. I was so glad that we were running late and missed all the action........drunk Annette would have been smack dab in the middle and lovin all the chaos and drama.

Sobriety really does have it's perks people! It allows me the chance to take situations like this that I just described above, and turn them into excellent life talks with my son - to show him the importance of making the next right decision.....had I been drunk, I would have just lost a little bit more of my son's respect......but I know now that I DON'T have to live like that anymore.

I hope everyone can take something from this and make a difference and/or change in your life today.....a change that involves action......any action, big or small, towards sobriety......I promise - you won't regret it :)

Hugs to you all!!!!

Guest posting for Em

1 comment:

  1. Hi Annette,

    Thank you for both your service to our country and your Sunday posts. My son is currently in the service. He's never been deployed and never will be. But, since he's enlisted I realize how important that service is and how much the support at home means.

    Your post brought back such memories for me. When my son was a junior in high school he was taking a girl to her prom in another school district. There was an after party, of course, and I insisted on going for the photos before the prom to meet the parents, etc. I remember at the time one of the parents coming up to me and saying she was glad I did that ... now when her son wants to go to an after party and she insists on meeting the parents, she'll have an example to point to. I'm apparently the only one of the boy's parents that insisted on knowing where their sons were going to be. I'm sure on one level my son was embarrassed. I think on another level it meant something to him to know that I cared. I wasn't drinking at all back then so my intoxication level wasn't a concern at all ... but I knew what could happen at those parties and I'd be the bad guy if it saved him from years of consequences. As it turned out, the parents were very responsible and it was a great, sober time for all of those kids. I actually liked his date ... my son is married now to someone else (who I also really like) but she was a really nice girl.

    Anyway, your post today was an inspiration. I now at the time I did some of the things like insisting on meeting parents, etc I felt like I was the odd one ... but it's the right thing to do and I think years later (if not at the time) the kids realize it.