Friday, September 23, 2011

In the Moment

I was so out of the moment the other day that I actually hear God's voice tell me to do NOTHING. I was worried and obsessing so badly about Beau and what to do with his situation that when I prayed about it the answer was to do nothing. I forgot that, I forgot that the answer, the next right thing to do would come naturally-if I let it. It is VERY, VERY hard to let go and let God when it comes to your children. We so play God in their lives and forget on a dime that they have a God. I know it's a fine line, but still they do have a God and we ain't it.

I am in the anger cycle of this whole deal. I would like to knock the shit out of a few people. But I know that letting Beau see that is super bad for him. He has enough anger about this, he doesn't need me fueling the fire. I am very grateful to be able to talk about it on here, and in meetings. I a blessed to have such an amazing support system! Thank you

P.S Beau is doing okay, not great, but okay. Thank you guys for sending Beau-nations:) They were greatly appreciated! He had pureed Hamburger Helper the other night-is that gross or what!!?

1 comment:

  1. Emily, I have been thinking of you and the boys. I know you will do all you can to make the right choices. It must be hard to see your son in pain and not make it better right now, this second. Your doing all you can and we will all be praying for you guys!!

    And yes, yuck!!! hamburger helper pureed, that makes me want to throw up in my mouth!!!!!