Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Emotional Throwing Up

I have some fucked up patterns going on right now. One of them being the way I date. It's all over this blog if you've been reading it. They disappear off here...one day I am dating, the next day I am not. The pattern part of it is I go like 6 months without dating again. It is like it takes a toll on me and I just don't feel like it for a while. So this time I have been advised to stay the fuck in the batterers box (my words as the person advising me is much more polite) What she actually said is it's an interview process-date them all-keep the ones that make the cut and eliminate from there. Which is all fine and dandy except I don't really like people-okay I put that wrong-I don't feel an instant connection to many men-it doesn't just come naturally for me. So even finding one I'm willing to have coffee with is a big deal, much less a few of them.

I know-I know-when you stop looking, when you least expect it you"ll meet him. Reminds me of one of my favorite quotes "One day someone is going to walk into your life and it will make perfect sense why it never worked out with anyone else." Sweet right!?

P.S-I am sorry if you didn't know I swore-I do-like a trucker. It is something I am working on.

P.S.S-And that cute boy I was dating didn't just disappear. I think our timing was just off. Maybe if the universe sees fit it will realign us one day-we will see.


  1. Hey Emily,
    Are you wanting to date because you think it is the next piece of your puzzle? It sounds like you're not real into the whole "interview" process. I totally get it, I'm not either. But, it's ok for me 'cause I have no interest in men since my divorce 8 years ago. Maybe I'm weird and wrong but, it's just not on my radar. If it is something you really want, to have someone special in your life, then maybe you should stay in the batter's box. But, if you are just not there right now, why push yourself? I think that finding someone special is something God will take care of. I told my mom that if God wants me to be married again, He's going to have to put the man on my front porch. I'm just not into it anymore. Like you, I have awful patterns and don't want to "go there" again. Sorry to ramble. Do what is in your heart Emily.
    That is the best any of us can do. Love to you all. Kathy

  2. Take your time baby....and breathe...don't push, but don't run - it will all fall into place - just keep breathing :) xoxo