Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Stinking Thinking

Things are going pretty well these days, so well in fact that I have mentally been preparing ways that I could start slacking on my program. "I don't really need so many meetings, I'm too busy to sponsor anyone, I don't really need to read the book." bull, bull, bull...that thinking is totally my disease trying to take me back. I do need that many meetings, and if I stop working with other alcoholics I will be drunk before I even know it, and that book saved my flipping life the least I can do is read it once in awhile.

I am grateful today that I know when my thoughts are leading me back to a drink. No such luck disease, I caught you. To bad, so sad!


  1. It's true when we start to slack we get caught up in other things that can lead us the wrong way. Sobriety & the program got us this far, why mess with a good thing?

  2. Hi Emily,
    I love your honesty! I didn't realize that (most) alcoholics have thoughts like that. When I've been sober in the past, I always stopped going to meetings once I felt strong. I never had enough sobriety to sponsor another gal (one year was longest), and I don't think I ever could. I'm not that smart. But, now that I'm struggling for sobriety, AGAIN, I'll need to work on accepting the fact that this will be for the rest of my life. I can relate because I am a cancer survivor. Cancer returned last August. I go for chemo every Friday and my Oncologist (who is awesome) told me that "the best case scenario would be for me to have chemo every Friday for the rest of my life". Through the grace of God, I have been able to embrace that fact.
    Would I like it to be different? Maybe. But, I know this is God's will for me.
    The alcoholism, on the other hand, I'm struggling to accept as a "life time" commitment. Selfishly, I think it is because I feel that two major diseases in one person's life is just one too many. I have a lot of work to do. I thank you, Emily for your courage to get this sight going and to keep it going. It is soooo beneficial to so many of us still struggling. God Bless You and your loved ones!
    p.s. formerly known as "Kate". In retrospect, that was pretty dumb too. I was trying to be more "anonymous". :) Might as well come clean all at once!

  3. Hi Kathy, I am so sorry you have to do the chemo every week, that is a horrible thing for anyone to have to deal with once, let alone every week. Just a loving thought though, if you accept chemo as a cure because you know that it will help you and you trust your doctor, maybe look at your alcoholism as a disease you can conquer and be free from!!! This is something that can only benefit you as you fight your cancer, because alcohol, as you know is one of the worse things for your immune system. You have blind faith in your doctor, maybe give some thoughts to a HP? I think if you maybe went to meetings, or found a therapist who specializes in alcoholism, they can really help you. You need support and we are all here for you!!!! You only have to give up alcohol for TODAY and then you can decide what to do TOMORROW!!

    lots of love and prayers to you!!!!! Please let us know what we can all do, we are here!!