I try my best to live by these words every day - sometimes it's hard, but I'm getting better at it with each passing day :)Wanted to share that I'm very much so living in some fear this morning. I found out that my ex-best friend is in town visiting family. As many of you know, I am currently working on my 9th Step - making amends to those I have harmed. Well, although we are no longer friends at all because of my drinking and drugging, we WERE best friends for many, many, many years and probably still would be today if my addictions hadn't destroyed our relationship. With that said, I am going to contact her and see if she could spare some time to meet with me in person - JEEZ! I AM SO FREAKING SCARED RIGHT NOW! I know in my heart I need to do this because although we are not friends now, we were the best of friends for the majority of my lifetime and she was really scared and worried about me back then...so much so that she called & ended our relationship over the phone, stating that she could not live "her" life continuing to worry and stress about me 1/2 way across the country on a daily basis. I totally got it then and really get it now. I'm not looking to "pick up where we left off" or anything....I just feel that she deserves an amends and I deserve to do whatever she may say she needs me to do to make things right. I seriously doubt that we will begin to build a friendship again - it's been waaayyy too long and she lives far away - that's not what my intentions are - I just need to make it right (if she allows me to) so I can begin to heal and move on as well. I need to be prepared to accept whatever she throws my way - good or bad. Just needed to share with you guys on here as you all are the friends that keep me sober and support me and that helps me to get out of my fear, along with knowing that God will be with me every step of the way. Wish me luck!
Hi All!Be Kind. What if everyone was, just for one day? How different our world would be. And when we encounter someone who is not so kind, be kind anyway, they need it more than anyone. Annette, I will say a prayer for your encounter today. You will be ok. You are a strong, compassionate woman and your friend knows that too. And God will be with you, just picture holding His hand, you're going to be ok. I promise. Hugs, Kate
Thanks Kate!....and I love what you wrote - it would be so nice if we could all be kind to one another - what a terrific world that would be - but that's not how it is, but we can all do our part to be kind, like you said, to those that aren't so kind - you're exactly right - they really, really need someone to show them kindness :)Well, I just sent my ex-friend a message on FB - now the wait for a response - if she so chooses to respond - gonna have to keep myself busy so as to not drown in this today - I hope she responds one way or another - silence and no response can be awful.
Update on "Annette's 1st Amends"...well, she emailed me back - that's a start! I missed her by one day - they flew back home Tuesday afternoon....sooooo, she gave me her home & cell numbers and said "call me anytime". She said in the email that she & her family were heading to the city for the day, so I responded that I wouldn't bother her right now and to email me when a good time would be for her for me to call so we could talk for a bit when she is at home. Soooooo......my amend to her looks to be happening in the near future and I'm feeling much more at ease just having her reply back to my email - know you can't get a lot of "feeling" from typed words, but her email was really nice, friendly and almost as if nothing ever happened. I am feeling very, very positive about doing this amends to her - this program and God are helping me sooo much to become the person I know I am....honest and accountable and 100% willing and ready to make amends to all those that I hurt so badly in the past.S-O-B-R-I-E-T-Y R-O-C-K-S!!!!!! Never knew life could be so good w/out my vodka!Hugs & love to all!
I am very happy for you Annette. You will feel so much better after this amend is done. Your friend will also!!Cinoda