Good to hear from you Em! I know one of your 15 was "call a friend" and just wanted to add, "call another alcoholic in recovery"....I always have to suggest this because it is wonderful advice that I always "somehow forgot" to follow right before I relapsed....who knows, maybe if I would have called BEFORE that first drink, it would have never slid down my throat...something to ponder....Happy Tuesday!!!Also - Mary - I think I may have seen a post from you on another blog asking about getting a sponsor and working the steps - if it's not the same Mary, oh well, it's still good information. I got a sponsor the nite of my 2nd meeting and have had her ever since. We're at kind of a crossroads right now with our sponsor/sponsee relationship as she has stopped going to meetings - still works the Steps - but no meetings. I have been working my Steps with her since 12/16/09...I was ready to do Step 4 after 10 months of sobriety and was so freaking fearful of it that I relapsed (not just b/c of my Step 4 fear-lots of other contributing factors) the day after my 10 months sobriety bday....my new sobriety date of 12/22/10 brought about beginning to work the Steps again, beginning with Step 1 again...I am now at Step 9 and will be making my 1st amends to my ex-best friend in the near future....Steps 10 and 12 I pretty much so do on a daily basis already, so anywho - that's my story & I'm stickin to it :)
Hi Annette - same Mary.After attending my first meeting last night (actually, it's not the first time I attended an AA meeting but in the past it's been for other family members), I'm feeling more than a little overwhelmed. I've actually been to more Al-Anon meetings in the past than I have AA. I attended Al-Anon for a while because of the effects of a spouse/child with addictions. I did enjoy some of the meetings but never got a sponsor, worked the steps, etc.This time I know it has to be different and I'm more than a little frightened at the prospect of change. I've had people tell me that it will get worse before it gets better but it will be worth it. So I'm just going to have to trust that and keep working at it.Thanks for sharing your experience. Step 4 scares me ... but I guess that's why I drink because I don't want to face things. Mary
That's right - we drink cuz we don't want to deal with and/or face things that are happening in our lives....yep, sometimes it gets worse before it gets better, but oh how sweet it is when you get more comfortable and happy with your sobriety...Step 4 was really scary, but I was honest and thorough - shared it with my sponsor & God in Step 5 and I cannot EXPLAIN to you how freeing it felt to get all of that stuff outta me and to share it with God & my sponsor...one thing about Step 4 for me was that once I did it, I became "fealess" instead of "fearful" about lots of things! Don't worry about the steps right now sweetie - get to some more meetings, try to go to some with doggielover - she is such an awesome gal, she could be a tremendous support to you face-to-face, keep with your online support, try to find someone in the rooms that has what you want and see if they'd be willing to be your temporary or full-time sponsor. You can do this Mary, but I'm sure you already know this,....you have to make some changes in your life and that requires action...it's a simple program that you must work hard at :)....and it is sooooo worth the hard work! Hugs, hugs, hugs to you - can't stop thinkin bout how proud I am of you for walking into that room - you are the "official schizz" of the day girlie!Oh, and I wasn't stalking you on the other forum - I read that daily too and I just recognized you from what you had said on Em's blog - please don't stop posting there just cuz I recognized you - that's a great forum as well...I haven't ever posted on there, I just read and that's enough for me right now :)Many schools are getting back in session this week and/or have already started - stressful times for many of us mommy-types - how y'all doin out there?
Annette - Thanks. You have no idea (no wait, you probably do) how much your support and everyone else's is helping me right now. I'm going to follow your advice and just go to meetings and keep my eyes open for someone that I feel would work as a temporary or full time sponsor. I didn't feel like you were stalking me. Both of my posts were quite similar. This is the first blog I started following after seeing Emily on Dr Phil and that has just led me to others. This and that other one are the only ones I've actually posted to though ... most of the time I'm just reading. Just as in the meetings where I would prefer to just listen ... I'm slowly learning that posting is a good thing. I'm sure I'll eventually get to the point where sharing in a mtg is a good thing too ... that's just alot scarier right now. But I'll get there. I think I can, I think I can ...Mary
You're doin great girl! I personally think that sitting back and "just listening" in the meetings is probably a really good idea at first. I am a very "talky" person - it helps make me feel more comfortable, so when I was 1st going to meetings (almost every day), I was listening, but not near as much as I was talking. Looking back, I wish I would have kept my mouth shut more and my ears open a lot more....I was always so concerned with what the topic was and what "I" was gonna say that I was "putting together" in my mind what I was gonna say during the time that everyone else was speaking - kinda heard to listen intently and conjure up my spiel at the same time...my sponsor pointed this out after about a month or so and I slowly but surely began to listen more and talk less - It really helped to humble me and quit thinking of "myself" sooooo much....cuz you know, it was always all about "me" - haha....keep doin what you're doin and it will get better and easier :) I can only speak for myself - but I'm pretty sure others feel the same way - I will not give up on you - no matter how many times you fall! No one gave up on me and for that I am grateful....and feel a strong commitment to those still struggling like yourself - always here for ya!
Hi Mary & Annette & Everyone!! just wanted to let you know about step work, how it worked for me. It was such a wonderful experience when I started. And it still is. I was basically taken through the steps with the most kind and loving person I could have asked for,(some people need tough love, I just needed understand at my point in recovery). She made it work for me, went over things with me until the light bulb turned on. I think her explaining to me about the allergy of alcohol when I first met her helped me to get it in my head. When I drink, My body doesn't react well, I can't take in alcohol, because I can't stop. But when we started to do step work the biggest thing that clicked at 1st was her having me go through my BB from pg. 82-88 and make everything personal to me, so I crossed out we and put in an I, crossed out his and put in MY. If you then go back and read all the pages, it is now about YOU the alcoholic. I really liked that.Now on to The 4th Step. I thought it was an amazing experience. It freed me, lifted my spirit and made me feel whole. I looked at, acknowldged my past, my actions and my old way of resolving issues and it helped me to change my thinking and my whole being!!! I can't change anything I did, EVER, but I can learn and move forward and make a better life for myself now. What a blessing that is!!!
Hi Everyone!Thanks for a great topic Emily. My personal fave, strawberry soda on ice with a straw! Yum! And not the diet kind. :)Annette, Please let me know what a "schizz" is? Is it Yiddish? Hugs to all, Kathy
I miss you...
Kathy - "the schizz" is just something slang - it means - Mary is "the shit" really - it's just a nicer word I guess - my kids say it all the time since they'd get a smack in the mouth if they said shit - not Yiddish as far as I know :)HeatherEliz - Don't think I've seen any of your comments before and not sure who you're missing - Emily maybe? Anywho - welcome!!!!
Thanks for the question/answer about what "the schizz" means ... I didn't know either but was just assuming it was something good :).Anyway, reminds me of something I was told on my first day of work over 30 years ago ... "the only stupid question is one that isn't asked"I should have asked.Mary
Hi Emily,Would love to hear from you everyday.Hugs to you,kathy