Hi Emily, Just read something similar. Can't remember if it was in the Big Book or in a Hazelden publication. But, the gist of it was this, It is easier to act yourself into a new way of thinking than to think yourself into a new way of acting. I think that makes sense. Anybody?Love to you all, Kate
I have been faking a lot, and I am a mess. I cannot get my shit together to save my life. I don't even know where to begin...I feel like I have been at this point so many times, I am sick of it. Why can't I stop drinking, why can't I stop giving myself to unavailable men.
To guccigirl, Your comment really touched my heart. I totally "get" you. Could have written it myself. I too, gave myself to lots of men that I thought would love me if I did what I thought they wanted from me. It only made me feel worse and set me up for the next failed "one nighter". I don't do that anymore. Not because I am healed but, because I am old and haven't been asked on a date since my husband asked me out in 1993! We are divorced since 2003.That is not to say the drinking has stopped. I too, feel I can't get it together. But, I have started to try. And I will not stop trying until it really "sticks". Meaning, I can string together several days of sobriety and start to love myself, no matter what some others may think of me. Getting sober (in the past) has taught me so much. I have drank (like an alcoholic) since I was 26 or 27. I am now 51. The awesome periods of sobriety have shown me that my family dynamics are pretty messed up. When I've been sober in the past, some family members actually pulled away. Then I learned, that's their crap, not mine. You are now on my prayer list and I will continue to pray for your healing. I don't know what your faith beliefs are. I can tell you that you are a child of God. And He loves you and me, just the way we are. He also loves us way too much to let us stay the way we are. He has a plan for you and me. A plan to prosper us and not to harm us. A plan to give us hope and a future! Please continue to comment, I think it is helpful in the healing process. Love to you, guccigirl!