I love this, Emily, thank you!! I'd like to know other ideas other people might have. I like to knit, so I'd add that to the list or play with my dogs. :)
I'd say go to the gym, take a run, get in your car and just drive through the country....that's all I can think of right now :) Hope everyone is havin a magnificent Monday!
Awesome lead!!!!*Plant indoor seeds for Spring planting*Organize a closet (or two)*Research places of interest for your next vacation - THEN BOOK IT !!!*Read a book outside of your typical genre*Act of kindness where the recipient will never know it was you~d
This is to anonymous: I love to knit too! Has it helped in your sobriety? I am trying to stop drinking - my urges are towards the end of my day - to zone out. Needless to say I have had to "frog" a lot of my work when I have tried to knit while lit. :(Cali
Cali!!! I'm so glad you are still reading - haven't heard from you in forever - you just made my day!
Hi Annette. Yes, I am still reading the posts. I am sorry and ashamed that I have not made much progress. Still dealing with my "witching hour". I am fine during the day. I am happy that I made your day, but sadly am still drinking my wine.Cali
Cali - Just keep reading, commenting, asking questions and trying sweetie! That's all you can do until you decide to stop.....remember, everyone gets off the elevator on different floors. You'll know when you're ready....we are always here for you :) Always sayin a prayer for ya!
Hi, Cali --I'm anonymous who is re-learning to knit, and it does help. I'm glad to see you posting again, too (I used to use "Montana" as my name). I can relate to your situation, as I had the same issue (drinking wine at the end of the day while cooking dinner).
Wow...Montana is still around too - thx for makin my day today ladies!!!! So glad to hear from ya Montana...how are you doing?
Hi, Annette --A lot of times I comment as "anonymous". Lately, I've been NS-Anon. My husband is still not talking to me much. I don't understand him and am sorry I ever talked to him about my problem.
NS-Anon - I am so sorry to hear that he is still acting this way towards you....from what I've been taught, you can only fix you....he needs to fix him. I am completely perplexed by his response to your admission to him...what does your therapist say? I think she initially said that he is just acting out because there is a major change in your lives together....has she offered any other explanations for his behavior? Just curious. I know that you drank that one night - have you been able to string any more days of sobriety together? I hope so, but if you haven't, no worries, just keep tryin :) I wonder if you would have just quit drinking and never said anything about it, if he would have noticed? What do you think? I'm just trying to open up some dialogue to get to know you a bit better. If you don't feel comfortable answering here, you can still get my email address from Em. Still saying prayers for you everyday sweetie!
Thanks, Annette, your concern is so appreciated. I had e-mail conversations with Randy many months ago and he suggested I consider not saying anything, just waiting to see if he noticed. Maybe I should have listened, since Randy is a guy and has "guy insight" that I obviously don't.We start joint counseling next week. You are correct about what the therapist initially said -- he has finally told me that he thinks there's nothing he can do to make me happy, and I don't believe that. Instead, I think it is a cop-out (he wants to continue to work less than part-time and hunt, fish, etc. with his best friend who is retired and has all sorts of free time; he wants to continue to have me do most of the housework and all the cooking while I fully support the family).I have been able to string more sober days together, although I have not been perfect. I am on an UPWARD spiral, though. People like you who can quit just like that are amazing to me.One thing that has really helped is I met someone on this web site months ago who is in a very similar situation. We have a lot in common is many respects, and we e-mail each other daily, sometimes more. Having her support and being accountability partners with each other has been a lifesaver.
That's awesome NS-Anon....keep up the good work - UPWARD spirals are always good :) And it's great that you've connected with someone with a very similar situation on here....that kind of support and accountability to one another is priceless. Hopefully the couples counseling will help your hubby to get a better grip on what's going on...I'll be prayin for that for you and him!
Montana - - Nice to see you are still checking in on this site too and that you are also a knitter. I am determined to substitute my knitting for wine. People have said that knitting is a way they can really de-stress. I have not been able to reap the benefits of that as I have been using wine for de-stressing. Cali
NS-Anon - I am glad that you have been able to string more sober days together. I was able to do that a few times, and do notice that it helps to "break the cycle". My husband gives me the silent treatment when he is angry with me and it is very stressful. I can't live in a house of tension. I wish he would consider counseling or be better about telling me why he is mad at me - half the time I am not sure what I said or did. I am not blaming anyone but myself for my drinking problem, but I have to admit, sometimes the wine helps me block it out. Not an excuse, as I drink the same as when he isn't mad at me.I admire you for being on an upward spiral and dealing with your husband. I hope counseling will help - at least he is willing to go - that's great. Also, so happy that you have the support of a friend.Take care.Cali
Hi, Cali --One thing that really helped me was some reading that I did that emphasized blame is not helpful. You are not to blame for your drinking problem -- you did not grow up, hoping to have a drinking problem when you were an adult. The book I'm reading now states it this way: "Remember, it is easy to be seduced into unhealthy habits; however, it is not your fault since you did not willingly choose them. There is no shame and no blame." and"The most important thing to remember is that if you are now in the process of replacing your unhealthy behavior with healthy habits you should place no shame and no blame on yourself or anyone or anything in your life...It is counterproductive and wastes much of your time trying to assign shame or blame for your unhealthy habits. Understand that you do have unhealthy habits that you are trying to replace with healthy habits and work on doing that only."I consider knitting a healthy habit (and exercise, walking my dogs, etc., which I'm also focusing on). :)As an aside, my husband was the kindest to me today that he's been in weeks, so maybe things are getting better. I complete relate to your statement about not being able to live in a house of tension. That's been my situation for weeks now...Montana/NS-Anon
Okay...you got me girl! I thought Montana and NS-Anon were 2 completely different people - lol! I noticed how very similar they both were and turns out they should be....they're the same person - silly me :)
Thank you Montana. Your post has helped me. You are so right. I did not intend to be so dependent on alcohol. Looking back, I can't believe that - even in college - alcohol was such a non-issue for me. I would drink if at a party or out dancing, but not on a daily basis. I did not even think about it really. So, what happened? I would drink when I was sad due to a break up. After my kids were born, I started to drink a little more - stress, boredom, loneliness (my husband worked late a lot). I thought it made me a better Mommy, gave me more patience at the end of the day. I guess over time it became my unhealthy habit. Too bad I didn't discover knitting sooner :(. Anyway, I know it is time to start to try to change. Thank you for your post.Cali
I am a fella, so I looked at fellas ways of stopping drinking, best way for me was going back to my childhood hobby of fishing, but instead of river i went to the sea, and if your catching a Friday evening tide coming in, then you soon forget about drink.