Sunday, February 20, 2011

Sobriety Sunday

I had a great day today. Two meetings and time with the boy I'm crushing on. Yes, there's a guy...and a crush. Dating sober is a very new deal to me. I was a get drunk, talk all night, fall in love the first week, and do each other kind of girl. This getting to know each other before jumping into a relationship is something I've never done. I was always so needy and insecure that I would fall into a relationship before even getting to know the person. That is not the case anymore. It's amazing to have standards.

One of the favorite things I have learned in sobriety is that I'm okay alone. That's an amazingly powerful thing for a women to know. It also helps in the taking it slow process. I think alcoholics tend to rush in to relationships for exactly that the "rush" It's so easy to pick up a relationship as a quick fix. But I have never seen that turn out well.

I don't know if I've ever told you guys this but I have read ever book known to man (or women in this case) about dudes, from The Rules, Act like a Lady and Think like a Man, to He's really Not that into You. So this guys got it hard. But so far he's doing pretty well.

Men!? Come on girls lets dish!

Sent from my iPhone

13 comments:

  1. So exciting ... and you're doing much better than I am on this front ;-)

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  2. Maybe it would be better to read what people wrote about your suggestions in stead of discribing "your knight in shining amour"?
    After all: You started this weblog...
    This is just a thought....

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  3. Speak for yourself. I am super happy for Emily! You go girl!

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  4. To Anonymous, I truly mean no disrespect. We are all created equally yet,
    very differently. When I go to a meeting where I don't like the "vibe", I just don't go back. I feel it is important to talk openly about all aspects of doing things for the first time, sober. I embrace our differences because it is how I learn. I wish you all good things!

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  5. To Anonymous 2/21 @ 7:25 a.m. - There is a reason that there are so many blogsites out there....if you don't find what you are looking for here, all you need to do is merely visit some others that pertain to sobriety/alcoholism that more adequately fit your needs and/or what you are looking for. I used to belong to a sobriety website when I first got sober that was incredibly moderated and rigid in regards to the content of posts and comments....once you broke their rules via a post or comment, you were simply kicked off of their site (at their sole discretion, of course). Being newly sober when I joined that blogsite, I was sometimes almost fearful of posting something that the moderators didn't like and being kicked off.....so glad I was able to find Em's site and get away from that fearful site - adding fear from something that was supposed to be helping me was actually adding on to my original fears i.e., it wasn't helping me one bit!

    I feel comfortable on Em's site.....as you can see, she respects all opinions, positive or negative, and doesn't over-moderate our comments - that's all part of the healing process, that finding a place and a group of people that you feel enough comfort and trust with that you can share your innermost feelings and questions and not be shamed, ridiculed or judged in the process.....that is EXACTLY what this site does. All I know is that Em, this blog and all of its readers and commentors have helped me tremendously throughout my recovery....during my ups and downs....and for that I am truly grateful.

    We appreciate your comment Anonymous 2/21 @ 7:25 am, but you are free to visit or not visit whatever blogsites you so choose....I think overall, we are a pretty happy, supportive bunch on here :).....and I truly hope you find the site that better fits your needs.

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  6. I agree with Annette. Sometimes I wonder if the less kind comments are posted when the poster has been drinking...

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  7. just because one person spoke his/her feelings that you all didn't like, you are suggesting that person going someplace else. accusing the person of drinking when writing, c'mon now, grow up. this site preaches honesty, how we feel...only to a point it shows now, when it suits you all. hypocrites...practice what you preach.

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  8. Anon above - I certainly didn't mean for my post to be malicious whatsoever. You just seemed dissatisfied with the content of one of Em's posts - and I guess that's okay. I agree, not all of her daily posts are about sobriety "directly"....but dating, dancing, socializing, getting rid of old drinking friends, making new friends, parenting, etc....all these everyday things change in one way or another in sobriety - and we must all learn to deal with them sober. So sometimes the posts aren't all about drinking/sobriety directly, indirectly they cover things and/or situations that become different in sobriety. Simply quitting drinking will not solve the problem - at least it never did for me. Please continue to follow the blog - we always enjoy getting to know people better. Throw out any questions you might have and we'll all do our best to share our experiences and suggestions with you. Again, apologies to you from me....I honestly didn't mean for you to take my comment in a negative way. Hope to hear more from you and learn more about your story with alcohol.

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  9. annette, i am not the person that wrote the shining armour comment. i'm just someone that enjoys your site, but i felt you all attacked this person and no i was not drinking at the time. i am glad emily puts out there the good, the bad and the ugly...this person might have had a bad day, her husband might have just left her or she might have just needed to vent...we have all certainly been there.

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  10. Annette, I've been following this blog also and did not feel at all that you attacked this person. This site is soooo accepting. But the comment about the person having had a bad day could also be true. I remember being at an al-anon meeting listening to a person whose son had an addiction to heroin, etc. Someone at a checkout register was rude to her and she ignored it .. said maybe they just found out their son is a heroin addict. Bottom line is that no one ever knows what another person is dealing with. I know personally I've had people that I work with tell me that they think I have the perfect life. In reality, I've lived with an alcoholic husband, two children .. one with addictions to drugs and alcohol and another with depression issues that eventually led to a suicide attempt.

    I think the most important thing that I've learned through everything is that I should never judge anyone. To quote Emily in a previous post ... it's none of my business what anyone thinks of me. I try to do be the best person I can be every day .. doing the next right thing.

    To the people that have been offended by some of the posts ..... I think the following applies here ...... "take what you need and leave the rest":

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  11. Anons above - I truly appreciate your insight and opinions...I didn't mean to be harsh. And I agree, that person may have been dealing with some tough life things. One thing I don't like about "typing" comments is that you can't include your "tone" with your words - which sometimes leads to people taking comments the wrong way. But I've learned something from everyone here regarding this subject.....I need to probably use some softer words that can't be mistaken for meanness or harshness. Sometimes I tend to be way to direct and it comes off as egotistical and know-it-all...but I truly don't mean it that way. I certainly don't know it all and this site helps me to stay sober as it does many others. I come here to share my experience, strength and hope as well as learn from everyone else that shares.

    Hope everyone has a great, sober weekend :)

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  12. i am the one that wrote on 24th@ 3:25 and 25th @2:42. i need to come up with a name, too many anons.lol this is the last i am going to comment on this issue. i was just surprised by the lack of compassion towards that person. your responses have been lovely eversince. as the young folks say today...it's all good. hope you have a great day.

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  13. I agree with anon above....let's not dwell on this issue anymore and try to be loving and supportive of one another....and let's all keep in mind that someone may be having a crappy day and need to vent, and not always positively - these days happen to all of us. Key words....support, patience, kindness, love, honesty - we've all had enough bad in our lives with alcoholism....let's make this a good, safe place to turn to. Happy Saturday to everyone!!!

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