Monday, February 28, 2011

Discombobulated

I am all over the place right now. Doing a million things, none of them really well.

Today I'm working at the Chicago Cubs spring training game. Fun, right!? I will post a picture later.

Sorry I don't have much to say. I just haven't lately. It's hard sometimes to share your life on line. I'm sure I'll get back in the blogging groove soon. But until then XO.

14 comments:

  1. Have fun at Spring Training Em!!!

    So - haven't heard too much from everyone on here lately.....how the heck's it goin everybody??? Anybody struggling with anything right now? If not, just drop a comment as to how you're doin and what's been goin on in your life recently!

    Happy Monday, last day of the month!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi, Annette --

    Your comment about sobriety vs. abstinence helped me a lot. I also appreciate your honesty about the struggles you had with your husband over this.

    I am newly sober and my husband can't believe I need to be. That's my struggle. He's not being terribly kind to me...

    ReplyDelete
  3. So he's upset that you quit drinking? WOW....that was NEVER my husband. Just remember that if YOU think that YOU have a problem, and YOU want to do something about it, then YOU probably have a problem with alcohol....as you can see, only YOU can decide that. If I were in your shoes (which I am not), but if I were, I'd probably seek help anyway...when you get to the point of surrender and acceptance and you truly want your life to be different/better without alcohol and all the crap that comes with it, then you know what is gonna make you reclaim your life.

    I've only spoken with one other woman whose husband was angry that she wanted to get help and quit drinking....I haven't heard from her in a long time...I hope she found help somewhere.

    If you could elaborate a bit more here, that would help, but if you don't feel comfortable, maybe you could email me once Em gets you my email.

    Hang in there girl!

    ReplyDelete
  4. My boyfriend (a heavy drinker himself) kept telling me I wasn't an alcoholic. He wasn't actively trying to get me to drink again, but he just didn't get it. I told him that there wasn't any way for him to understand what went on in my brain when I drank and that from what I had learned in AA, I was thoroughly convinced that I was an alcoholic and could never drink again. (I also understood that it also wasn't my place to say anything about the way he drank or try to get him to stop. That was his business.)

    ReplyDelete
  5. To NS-Anon,
    I was going to say something very similar to what Deanna just posted.
    Does your husband drink a lot? Or, maybe he has a (false) image that you and your family are "perfect" and you stating that you are an alcoholic ruins that "perfect" image? I'd love to help, like Annette said, if you are ok with sharing more, that would be helpful.
    Love to you all,

    ReplyDelete
  6. I admire your strength & perception of yourself Deanna - you looked at yourself & your own life and made a decision solely based on you....that's inspiring, and I bet your life is much more manageable now. How much sobriety do you have if you don't mind me asking? I just celebrated the 60 day mark (again), but this time I feel much more "into" my sobriety & my program.

    Happy Tuesday to all - 1st day of a brand new month....March - the month of Spring....yippee!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks, all. My husband doesn't drink much (maybe one or at most 2 beers at a time, and not every day).

    I got so sick and tired of the pattern of drinking wine or beer almost every night after work, of the weight gain from the drinking, of the feeling tired and dragging some days, of the buying the wine or beer all the time, of the fact that I saw myself drinking more. So I started seeing a counselor awhile ago and she's been very helpful. When I finally told my husband last week, he was shocked I had a problem and was very angry.

    I'm not exactly sure why yet although we've talked quite a bit -- my counselor thinks he's upset because he knows the status quo is changing. He has got to help out more around the house and with raising our boys -- I am the breadwinner, he works less than part time. I've had the breadwinner roles and the housewife roles on my shoulders and with menopause, I cannot do it all anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My husband was definitely happy I quit drinking, however, we did go thru (and still are going thru) an adjustment phase. His role of picking me up and putting me back together is no longer required and I think he may have kind of relied on that role more than he thought. I am much more independent in my actions and thoughts now and that's another change....I used to just agree with everything he said (so I wouldn't have to think or have an opinion of my own - it was just easier). Housework.....my least favorite subject. After being sober for a while, I announced to the whole fam (hubby and our boys) that I was not the only person living in this house and I was not their maid. Advised that if the house was gonna get clean, it would be a joint effort from now on. The boys are old enough now and even though he travels quite a bit, my hubby lives here too. I think at first he was also kinda freaked out a little about how social situations would go with me not drinking. He and all our friends still drink - and they are all normal drinkers, and yes, they all know about my alcoholism and are very, very supportive. So far, all has gone well and even my friends tell me how much more they enjoy me sober as opposed to when I was drinking. I kinda like me better too :)

    I think over time that our families, spouses, friends, co-workers, etc. come to see a change in us, a serenity, a peacefulness....a less egotistical, selfish person - and they begin to understand that getting sober was exactly what we needed - at least it has been that way in my situation. Sobriety brings change and makes your life "different"....they never promise "better" because life is still life with its many ups and downs....we just learn to deal with life without drinking. Wow - my thoughts are scattering and I'm jabbering on - that's all I'll say for now. Hang in there NS-Anon - hopefully your husband will begin to see the changes in you once you get some sobriety under your belt. Are you taking part in any type of recovery program or only seeing a counselor? Just curious.

    ReplyDelete
  9. My ex-boyfriend, whom I used to know from my work and met again after 18 years in AA (he was sober for 7 years), visited me when I was 8 months sober.
    He said: "Can't you tell me something else like that you have been drinking again?"
    Although I was shocked I asked him why he could be so cruel.
    He said that he was afraid of loosing me when I didn't need him anymore.
    He lost me.
    This is the worst a not-drinking alcoholic can wish for another not-drinking alcoholic.

    Later on I could feel that process inside me:
    My not drinking- and drinking alcoholic who were fighting to take control of my life.

    Guess who won?!!!!!

    After all it was never the outside world that made me start drinking but always what happened inside me.
    After all it is never the outside world that makes me staying sober but what happens inside me.

    Lot of energy to you all.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anon 4:45,
    That is awesome what you said!!Thank you for sharing.
    I live with a husband who drinks a lot and is quite upset at the fact that I have quit drinking.He bought a bottle of wine for us when I fall off the wagon. I have been in recovery for three years and have been sober for over a year now(Feb 15). I know I can't make him quit as much as he can make me drink. Know idea where our relationship will go, especially when I am realizing how much revolved around our drinking. He says I am changing and I say Thank God! I refuse to start drinking so he can feel better about his own drinking. I am changing, back to the person I use to be before I picked up my fist drink, which was a very confident, strong-willed and smart 11 year old girl! I am determined to to be her again, only smarter and with the proper tools to handle what life throws at me. Each day I stay sober is one day closer to achieving everything I have strived so very hard to get, I just wish I would be a little faster at learning when I make mistake, oh well nobody is perfect right!
    Take care everyone!!
    Laura

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thanks, Annette, for your comments and support. You are an inspiration to me!

    I am not working with AA as I think you are, but I have two friends who are farther down this path that I'm working with, along with a counselor, and I bought two home-based recovery programs (books, CDs). I know AA is highly recommended by many, so I may explore that option sometime.

    ReplyDelete
  12. When a highly publicized celebrity (e.g., Charlie Sheen but perhaps others, as well) makes less-than-flattering comments about AA or anything about sobriety, what are your thoughts?

    He gets so much press, that I'm concerned some might agree with him. Is he correct? Can one have "tiger blood" and cure oneself with a blink of the eye? I thought I read he said AA was a cult. Comments? I heard he said something about death being for fools, for amateurs. Is he so far in denial that he has no idea what addiction has done to him? Is he not addicted, but mentally ill? I know we can't diagnose this, but given the international publicity, I'd so appreciate input on this disease. I saw a professional interventionalist (is that a word?) comment on this, with great concern.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I can so relate to Laura - I too am changing back to the person I once was (a long time ago).
    It is just such a special, amazing learning experience. I will have 2 years sobriety on 1 June and its only in the last few months that I have noticed the good old Bev starting to re-appear. I'm loving it - so far so good.
    As for achieving sobriety I dont think AA is the only way to go. I went into rehab and now just see a psychologist once a month. I also have met people who have been through the same as me and we get together when we can and can always phone if we need help/advice etc.
    Just go with what is comfortable for you and remember 'one day at a time'.
    Have a wonderful day everyone!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. This line consist of Kids Supra TK Society, Steve Aoki’s Strapped and also Trinity boots and shoes. Strapped and also Trinity boots and shoes are fashioned with the every day light boots and shoes; Skytop skaters are extra unique includes, just like back defense, memory-based insoles, midsole supra boots and shoes, top bottom defense and also telescopic language strap and so on. Welcome to browse Supra Cuttler NS for low-cost on the web.

    ReplyDelete