Sunday, January 23, 2011

Sobriety Sunday

K- the topic is powerless. Please share a few ways you are powerless
over alcohol.

When I get home from my meeting I'll share my journal with you on
powerlessness from my first week of sobriety. I still feel now like I
did then every time I read it.

The good news about being powerless over alcohol is the second you
admit it you regain a whole heap of power.

Be back in a few. Xo

Sent from my iPhone

Okay, so I'm finally back. And you know what? I'm feeling very powerless over how flipping tired I am. I know I said I would share out of my journal today, but I am way too tired to get up off this couch and find it. So please forgive me.

5 comments:

  1. I have no "off" button. Once I start, I go till I'm passed out. It is easier to not drink at all than to stop after one or two...impossible! Please help me to learn about surrender, I
    know it is key. Love to you all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi,
    Surrender for me is that I know that once I start drinking, I never can be sure when I stop drinking.
    I was sober (and very proud off it) for six years.
    After three years of sobriety I allowed myself to buy a car again.
    My last car had crashed by DUI. The judge gave me one year suspended sentence of not driving and 500 dollars but I took it more seriously. I could have killed someone.
    My first relaps after six years was 36 hours of drinking myself from this world and drinking myself back again into it.

    Once, when I travelled in Colombia, I met a man who said to me: "I drink to forget and I drink again to forget what I wanted to forget."

    Ten years of relapses started.
    First one night in two months but then one night in six, four, two weeks.
    After a year the first time of drinking after having been drinking started. I was sick but that didn't stop me.
    After five years the relapses were mounted from two/three days to four days with six to eight weeks of not drinking without any craving at all.
    The first time I "hit" five days somebody had to help me through the withdrawel.
    Two years later I had already the experience of seven days non-stop drinking. One year later I reached my top of ten days non-stop drinking.
    The first day of withdrawel I always was psychotic and reliving my childhood-traumata.
    One week later, as somebody told me, I would look like I had never touched a drink in my life. I am a goodlooking woman ( I have been a model), a runner and a vegetarian.
    The Jekyl/Hide performance.

    Now I can't even imagine anymore to drink so many days because I have so much to do and going for me in my life.

    I am a therapist myself and by the support of some collagues, I could trust, I found my way out.
    For an alcoholic, even when he/she conquers the trauma that triggered the drinking, the alcoholism is not be conquered but to be acknowledged and that is surrender.

    After letting go of my addiction of tranquillizers (25 years ago), smoking (17 years ago) and carbohydrates (15 years ago) alcohol was the last one to let go off.
    I never used any other kind of drugs (lucky me!).

    If I didn't had an addiction to alcohol I never had needed to face my trauma and I had become a famous piano-player instead off a therapist.

    I am an alcoholic, a binge-drinker.
    That is surrender.
    One can have the greatest gifts/talents/intelligence on earth but an addiction can destroy all of that in an instant.

    I know that the greatest gift for me in this life is being a recovering alcoholic.
    That is surrender.

    Love & light to Emily & all the others.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Powerful story Anonymous above... you said "by the support of some colleagues" that you could trust you "found your way out."

    Can you please share how you found your way out?

    Thanks --

    Anonymous

    ReplyDelete
  4. The way out for me was to ask for help and then to embrace it when it came. XO

    ReplyDelete
  5. Powerless over alcohol.
    Once I start, I can't stop.
    When I stop, I can't stay stopped.
    I can't drink.
    I can't NOT drink.
    That, to me is powerless.
    I needed to find a power greater than me!
    Today the obsession to drink has been removed and I am happy. This is 100% thanks to the grace of God and the 12 steps. Tried other methods for years and always failed.

    ReplyDelete