Thursday, January 13, 2011

Lonely no More

I am sitting here at work thinking about how I never have to be lonely again. I have people here that love me, people in my support group that are there for me no matter what is going on, or what mood I'm in. They love me. I remember the end of my drinking, and beginning of sobriety being the loneliest time of my life...I was lonely even when I was in a room full of people and I had no clue how to sit quietly with myself.
I enjoy my own company these days. I can connect and love people wherever they are. I am almost never lonely. And that is totally the blessing of sobriety.

If you are feeling lonely...here is a big hug {{{{{{{cyber hug}}}}}} Please trust that it does get better.

3 comments:

  1. Big cyber hugs back at ya girl! I totally agree....at the end of my drinking I was incredibly lonely and didn't necessarily "like" being around groups of people. At the time I just wanted to be all by myself with my vodka. It was probably best I wanted to be alone at that time since most people, including my husband, didn't really want to be around me anymore.

    It is truly incredible to me how the loneliness has slowly disappeared and I even feel comfortable in my own skin when I'm all alone. I've learned to stay active and "do something"....even if it's something just for me - anything but drinking. So far I've done pretty good - with the exception of 3 one day relapses. I now feel the love, understanding and support of my home group, my family, my friends, all my cyber friends....I'm beginning to understand that I don't need to know "why" God chose alcoholism for me, but accept that He made me this way and there must be a reason...still looking to find that reason, but I'm sure He'll put it out in front of me when He thinks I'm ready for it. Don't get me wrong - I still get lonely now & then - and that's when I REALLY need to use the tools I've learned in the program to keep me from taking that 1st drink. I have now been sober for 23 days and I feel good. I try to keep looking at my recent 3 relapses in a positive way...to make me able to forgive myself and move forward. So sometimes when I get down on myself, I remember that it's progress, not perfection....and part of that for me is that sure, I wasn't able to make it to my one year sobriety birthday....BUT, I did make it thru 390 days without a drink (would have been 393 if I hadn't relapsed those 3 days)....and that's a great improvement for me, compared to how much & often I used to drink. So, although I have fallen 3 times, I stay positive about the 390 days that I didn't drink.

    How is everyone out there doin? Haven't seen too many comments or questions lately - hope everyone is happy & healthy! Remeber - you're not alone :)

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  2. Lonely is hard to explain to people who don't drink, my husband doesn't understand, he turns it into something about him. Sometimes I know I just feel like everyone is coming at me at once and I have nowhere to turn and at this point, I feel so alone even when I have 20 people in front of me. I do like my time away from others and sometimes meetings can even be intense. I know when I feel that way I go to a meeting I don't normally attend that way I can sit and be still and focus more on the meeting. I hate feeling lonely, but I think a lot of the feelings come from not knowing what my feelings are in the 1st place. I am learning so much about myself in sobriety and it's nice. I know when I am feeling lonely, I could be in danger of thinking of a drink, so when I feel that way I do something about it, go to a meeting, call my sponsor, call a friend. anything!!

    Have a great day!!

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  3. Please keep your thoughts up .. You challenge and encourage me. I know not a lot of people are posting lately... Well, many of us read. Well wishes to all -

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