Wednesday, December 22, 2010

What it was like....

It's so weird to think about what it was like. I was a mess. An angry, opinionated, know it all...I told everyone how to run their life as mine was falling apart.

I spent most of my time getting hammered in the local dive bars, then driving home drunk out of my mind, to pass out out, and quite often peeing my pants...classy I tell ya.

In the finally years of my drinking I took every diagnose under the sun...depression, bi-polar, whatever...but an alcoholic...heck no...admitting that would have meant I had to quit drinking...Um I think not!

I knew, and I think they knew too. But what do you do when the person won't admit it? No doctor, friend, or family member could have convinced me that I was an alcoholic...I had to come to believe that on my own. I believe everyone does.

2 comments:

  1. Emily, how many years did you drink? Could you tell us how it affected your marriage and children? I drank for years before acknowledging that I was an alcoholic but I was divorced and my drinking mostly affected me although I know it affected my relationship with my family and boyfriends. I wasn't around my family much so they didn't know the extent of my drinking but when you're married, have children and are in the same household how do you and they all deal with each other? Thank you for all honesty in sharing. Have a great Christmas holiday.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Emily, I too peed myself but, mostly wake up in my own
    vomit. It's awful and it creates so much more work. I can't
    tell you how many pillows, sheets, clothes I've had to just
    throw away. It is disgusting and I can't stop. How did you
    stop?

    ReplyDelete