Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Pile Up

I have once again let my emotions pile up. I am the queen of "stuffing it" When I do that the emotions all come out later, sideways...I still have not talked to my sponsor about {namewithheld} being engaged...like that one didn't leave me sad, angry, resentful and feeling totally rejected. Instead of dealing with my feelings, they all came out sideways by me feeling reject by a guy I don't even know, and doesn't even know me. Damn-it...I'm such a pain.

So today I will be doing some work on my feelings...feelings, feelings, feelings...BLAH!

5 comments:

  1. I hate how feelings can build up like that. Feelings that build up like that can cause lots of problems for alcoholics!!

    I have been feeling all out of control and I am learning to deal with my feelings, but then you throw in the holidays and your expectations and you could lose your mind. I used to drink it away, now I have to deal, UGH!!

    On the dating thing, I hated dating, it is awful, but when I was dating I turned it around and made it fun for me. I would date a lot and have a blast, and not take it personally, sometimes if someone didn't call me back I would tell myself, "he just couldn't handle me, I was to much fun for him" and you know what, it made me feel better!! try not to over think the dating, get out there and have a blast!! Online dating is fun!!

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  2. Emily, You are so brave to be dating! And I learned something so valuable from a good friend...when someone disappoints you, it is SOOOO much more about their troubles than you!
    I hope that makes sense. And as far as what your sponsor told
    you about dating, if you are not ready, don't push yourself.
    Look at how far you have come and love yourself like you would love any of us on your blog, whom you don't even know! You deserve at least that! Love to you!

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  3. Anonymous - Thank you for the comment "it is SOOOO much more about their troubles than you!" It does make a lot of sense. I have been going through a lot of upsets with a guy I've been going with for a number of years. Looking back he definately has a lot more issues to deal with than I do. He has hurt my feelings a lot recently, and I can really accept that he does have more troubles than me after seeing it in black and white. Thank you for your post. You never know what comment might help someone.
    MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EMILY, YOU AND ALL THE OTHERS WHO READ AND POST ON THIS BLOG.

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  4. Anonymous - Thank you for your comment "it is SOOO much more about their troubles than you!". I have been experiencing so much turmoil with a guy I have been going with for years and he does have more issues than I do and apparently doesn't realize how really bad he hurts me. This comment puts our hard feelings toward each other in perspective. You never know when a comment will open someone's eyes.
    MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EMILY,YOU,AND ALL WHO POST ON THIS BLOG.

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  5. For me, being able to even name the feeling was such a "light bulb" moment for me. To being to see what is behind the feelings is not easy for me. Sometimes denial is the tool I pick up. That is okay, I eventually put it down and get to work. Kicking myself only leaves me with a sore arse. :-D

    ♥namaste

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