Something occurred last night that totally could have materialized into a huge resentment...someone hurt my feelings... I was mentally tearing them up...totally old behavior...I didn't act on it, but almost....It messed with my serenity...So this morning I did what I was taught to do...I went to my morning meeting (I never get to go to that one anymore because of the boys schedules, but my family is there, and I needed them)... I talked to the wises person I know. She asked me why I thought everyone in the program was kind...and I answered "Well, I am." she said "I know that, so I am." then proceeded to say that just because we were doesn't mean everyone was, and to protect myself.
It's all about boundaries I guess...I need to remember that the people in recovery (including me) are sick trying get to get better, and maybe not trust all of them. I guess that's when trust God and love people comes into play.
Some days in sobriety I feel like a total baby, other days like a bratty teenager having to learn what this crazy world is about all over again...It is such a process of growth...I am proud of the adult I am becoming, she has Grace and class...the bratty teenager on the other hand...a total shit:)
By the Grace of God on the 23rd I will have 3 years of sobriety. They have been the most rewarding, amazing, yet painful years of my life. Especially this last one. If I remember that I'm really just a baby in sobriety it helps me to be easier on myself. It is like learning a whole way to live...I love it, but it is challenging. The one thing I do know is that I wouldn't give back one second of my sobriety for my old life...no way.