What to write about? I don't know. What if we talk about feelings, I know, I know the very thing that we had been running away from.
I have found that when we talk about things, I mean really talk about them, that they lose their power.
So feelings it is. Last night I was reflecting on the last year, God, talk about feelings. A move, a break-up, not smoking...feelings, feelings, feelings. Some of them I wasn't sure I could bear. The move made me feel scared and lost, and acutely aware of my emotional attachment to stuff. The break-up made me feel that my heart had been ripped out of my chest, and the non-smoking thing...hard! I craved smoking so badly that I could feel it in my soul.
But I got through it without drinking, or being institutionalized (which is a part of my story) I walked through it (I still am). I always say that sobriety is not always easy, but it is always worth it. I free today, alcohol does not consume my every thought.
There are days that the fear of my disease keeps me sober. I believe without a doubt that it always gets worse, never better if I go back out. I almost lost everything that meant anything to me, and I am just not willing to go there, not ever again.
I <3 you guys! How are you doing?