Monday, August 2, 2010

Summers End

This is our last week of summer break, whick is wacked being that it's still 110 outside. But it's true, the kiddos go back to school on Monday. We are trying to get everything in order, school clothes bought and long lost bedtime routines recreated. Speaking of bedtime routines, am I the only one who has kids that stay up all hours of the night in the summer, we're talking 2-3:00 in the morning...-crazy!-


  1. You are not alone! My kidlet (13 in a couple of weeks) has been doing those late nights. She doesn't start school until the end of the month but today I am giving her the two week warning until I impose a sleep curfew!

  2. Glad to hear I'm not alone - it's like every night is "see how late we can stay up". School starts early here as well - Aug. 12 - so I'm buried in uniform laundry, etc. Of course, none of his shorts fit and we didn't get anything at the uniform exchange at his school - so off to purchase a couple pair at the exhorbitant prices they charge.

    We are going to start scaling back bedtime starting tonight.

    I'm in the middle of final exams for my summer classes, so pray for me!

  3. My kids are like this, too, but please help us more -- us, being the women who are silently struggling with alcohol problems (whether it's abuse or dependency or alcoholism or some kind of early stage or whatever you want to call it). Please keep giving advice. Please, others, keep sharing your stories. Help, please.

    And, I don't know how to say this, I kept waiting for someone else to say it but no one has so I will: I'd love to donate to you, Emily. You are helping me to some degree, but I need more. But my problem with donation is I can't figure out how to do it 100% anonymously and that's the only way I will. I'm ashamed that I have a problem with alcohol, even though everyone says it is a disease one does not choose. But I can't help but feel it's a character weakness. My family feels that way about people they know with the problem. They just don't know I'm one of them.

  4. Hi Anonymous,
    I too felt ashamed and weak. But I'll tell ya the day I came out and said those words "Hi my name is Laura and I am an alcoholic" my world opened up even more. My mother totally embarassed and wouldn't watch my 8 year old for me so I could go to meetings when my older kids had something to do. I found a way. At first I blog anonymously but felt I was living a double life and in hiding.I am proud of who I am flaws and all. The stupid stuff I did before is only a part of who I am. I am learning everyday how to live sober and it is so much easier when everything is out on the table.People don't bug me to drink with them anymore, and ya I certainly found out real quick who my friends were. It is hard, I started to "creep" as my kids say on this blog to see if people felt, acted and been through what I have been through. To feel that I am not alone. No offence Emily but this is not the only place I turn for help, it is a huge part of my recovery, listening and asking for opinions or help on an issue, but I know this is not an end all to end all, I have a lot of work to do and honestly I don't think I could have gotten through those dark periods with out this site's help. Talking to other people gave me the courage to go to my first meeting and I am forever grateful for that. Take care and stay strong, it seems scary but it does get better.

  5. HI, Laura --

    I'm Anonymous above. How long have you been sober? What was it that helped you to take that first step to sobriety?

  6. Hi Anonymous,
    I started this journey Oct. 13th 2008. I was tired of waking up in my own vomit, urine and feces. Tired of going through life not being present for anything, even my kids stuff. Tired of not being able to look at myself in the mirror. Tired of being in total chaos all of the time. I had so much anger in me and I thought is was from my upbringing, incidents that happened in my life that changed me forever, but after a relapse this past Christmas(2009) I relized I was angry at myself for not being strong enough to say no to the peer pressure I endured in highschool.I thought I was pretty strong but the disease is stronger and since I have two generations of alcoholics in my family I did pretty well not to drink until I was 15. I went through the next 25 years struggling to gain the self confidence I had lost. I hated who I had became, that is not the person I saw myself at 10 years old. I was in a living hell. I went to a funeral last year of an acqaintance of mine who died very young and I kept hearing "What a nice girl, if she had only stopped drinking." Now that have been sober I hear the people that make comments about my drinking and I think to myself that is all they equate with me.To me that is very sad, cause there is way more to me than that but I have not shown it.The bottom line is I wanted to live the best life possible for myself and for me that is without a drink in my hand.There was a time where I didn't want to live so I have come a long way from that girl who used drinking to get through life. The aftermath of my sobriety is the life my kids desrve too!
    Take care!

  7. (I am Anonymous above again)

    Thank you, Laura, for sharing. I think you are very brave and strong to make such a change.

    How do you deal with cravings? How do you overcome the feeling of temptation? Or do you not experience those?

    Did you see a therapist? If so, did that help? Does that help discover the root cause of drinking? Is there a root cause for women, such as anger or some other suppressed emotion?

    Thank you --

  8. Hi Anonymous, craving are hard, but you can manage to get through it. I had a very stressful weekend and I honestly have to say I prayed for help, called my sponsor, went on blogs, called my husband and walked away from something when it was getting to intense. I had such a hard time putting down my bottle, but I have been thankfully sober since April 26th of this year. It is a day to day struggle, but well worth it. I feel so different about life, my family and myself. I am realizing that I am a good person and I chose to drink, nobody forced me. I think I had this fantasy in my head about drinking, that it would relax and take away all my problems, well it didn't, it made problems everywhere I looked!! Anything I touched!!! You have to reprogram yourself and know you are worth it!! when a craving gets to much, call someone, write on the blog, read a story from the Big book. Sometimes just writing down that your struggling helps. I tried to see a therapist, but she wasn't the right fit for me. She forgot half the stuff I was telling her!!! I hate to say this, but you may not have some deep dark secret that made you drink, you may just be an alcoholic who is allergic to alcohol and you can't consume it in a moderate way!! I think as you find a support group, I like AA, you will work through some of your emotions, but in the beginning just worry about staying sober!! Everything else will come to you. I am a very out going person, but I realized i was just an insecure person deep down and I need to accept who I am, it's that simple, or your situation may be very different. Just take one day at a time, don't drink, give yourself a break and keep posting!!

  9. Hi Anonymous,
    Like Doggielover said there is no one solution to stop drinking. The beginning is the desire to stop. I have used therapy, meetings, prayer, meditation, blogging and reading books such as "The Big Book" to get through any issues or cravings or a funk. Sometimes I only need one other days I need all of them. Whatever stops me from taking that drink. The hardest thing was socializing, just did it at my own pace and if I felt uncomfortable, I left.A friend told me to make sure I parked so I could easily get out and always drove myself so I didn't have to wait or depend on anyone to get me home. Cravings are few and far between now but they are still there, I know I can not drink like other people so I don't pretend to. I can't drink, bottom line! I use to always try to figure out why I drink, now I focus on not drinking cause I may never know the underlying cause if there is one. You need to find what works for you. Things are better for me now, are they perfect, um no, but the way I handle my life is in a more positive and productive way. The first step is to stay sober then at your own pace work through everything else. I hope this helps. It is not easy but it is worth it.
    Take care.