Saturday, August 7, 2010

Easy Does It

Be easy on yourself. We can be our worse critics, don't be. You are a beautiful child of God. And he wouldn't want you talking unkindly to yourself. Would he? You are amazing and powerful and stronger that you can even imagine. Trust that you can do this. I do!


  1. Hi Emily,
    Thank you for reminding me to be kind to myself. I've started
    asking myself, how would I respond to a friend if she told me
    something she had done that she was ashamed of or just felt
    bad about. I'm starting to get it. I too, know that I'm screwed if I continue. I'm just trying to remember how I did it the first
    time. Part of me feels that I don't have another recovery in me.
    And then I realize that is just negative talk and stinkin' thinkin. I love this sight. And, I'm scared. Scared I can't do it, scared that part of me doesn't want to do it, and part of
    me doesn't. I do know, it's the right thing to do, on so many levels. I have set so many sobriety dates for myself, and when the day comes, I think, "well, tomorrow I can start for real". Tomorrow never comes. Does anyone have
    any ideas for starting? Like a diet, you need to have the right foods in the house before you begin. And I know it's
    important to have fruits, veggies, chopped and ready to eat.
    Eggs boiled to snack on, etc. What does a drinker do to
    prepare in a similar way???

    Love to all

  2. Buy juices and any non-alcoholic drinks you like. Also, chocolate really helps and I learned from this site.
    I'm trying to get a routine set for myself along with my families routine. To bed by a certain time, dinner at a certain time, etc. I think structure helps me not feel "out of control" and then I won't feel like I want to drink.
    Be really good to yourself as though you are trying to help a friend through this.
    Let me know what you think and if you have any other ideas.

  3. AnnieSoCal,
    Thanks for the suggestions.

  4. Anonymous -
    Sounds like you are the same place I am. I had almost 3 years of sobriety and then thought I could be an occasional drinker again. I have realized that I can't do that. I also am not open about my drinking so feel I can't be open about my sobriety. I find a lot of support online, have made a couple "on line buddies" and we help each other. There is a lot out there - information and support groups. Women For Sobriety is a good place. I would share my email but I don't think we are supposed to do that on this site.

    Anyway, the second time around does seem harder but it can be done. I just want to be back to being able to look at myself and my family in the eyes and not feel ashamed! You can do it - we all can.

    The suggestions given so far are good. Devise a plan and stick with it!

  5. Anonymous, AnnieSoCal gave you some great suggestions. I also think that because you had a hard time staying sober the 1st, maybe you should make a new plan. The 1st plan didn't work, maybe look at what you did before and what you could do differently this time. I know at some of my meetings that people that went out and came back had to change the way they were doing the program they were into. Maybe if you just went to meetings before, maybe volunteer to help set up or make the coffee, you will then be responsable for something other than your sobriety. I really don't have a lot of knowledge to go on though. Maybe find another sponsor. Maybe your other sponsor didn't help to keep you motivated about the program. Sometimes someone who just preaches AT you may not be the right fit, maybe you need someone who will be gentle with you. Please start even going to a beginners meeting. It's great!! "old timers" are at these meetings to guide the new people, and keep themselves sober, reminding them of how it is to start again.

    Good luck, lots of love!!

  6. I would rather be dead than live like this......

  7. When I read my comment above I realized that it didn't come out like I meant it.....what I meant was I KNOW I need to get sober and I WANT to get sober because I would rather be dead than live in this perpetual drunk that I have created in my life.....I love this blog and think that it is so wonderful that complete strangers can band together and support one another like this.....I feel safe here......thanks Emily.....xoxo

  8. Anonymous, you can do it. MAke some calls to your AA chapter. You can ask about a safe meeting. You are reaching out and you can do it!! I hated myself so much April 26th of this year. I was hung over, my husband looked at me like he wanted to vomit, and I couldn't look in the mirror, but I found a meeting and went to it. I cried when i said I was an alcoholic and all my emotions felt different, I felt lighter. i knew I was there for MYSELF and if my husband wanted to be with me fine, but if not I was doing something for me for once!! Alcoholics are funny. WE can be very selfish, but we can also be the kind of person who does EVERYTHING for everyone because it looks good!! I was all that and more!! I'm sure I still am, but I'm trying!!

  9. My husband looked at me today like he wanted to vomit too! Breaks my heart into a million pieces, I didn't choose to be sick......I can understand how frustrating it must be for him though.....I do everything for everyone.....major people pleaser and it's time for me! I'm start school on the 23rd and I'm driving directly to a meeting.....I'm sooooooooo scared......horrified in fact.....I have had panic attacks since I was 19. I am now 40......sadly, alcohol was the only way I found to function.....I know big changes are about to hit me like a freight train! I am finding a new doctor tomorrow.....I'm just so ashamed....and scared........Dear God, please help me......

  10. Easy to say, but shame and blame don't belong here. Who chooses to be an alcoholic? It's a gradual process, faster for some than others. The important thing is that you are now choosing to stop it. The past is the past, it's history. You are taking the right step to find a new doctor and move forward. Follow your doctor's advice. And no matter how painful it is, be sure you are 100% honest with your doctor.

  11. I will try my best.. but I'm really scared.....and ashamed.....the stigma sucks......this is tough stuff......

  12. 7:17 ..

    I am with you. I have the same changes to make.. Keep talking.. I am encouraged and I have to go to a doctor and a meeting too. Peace. Let's move forward.