Tuesday, July 20, 2010

My Sobriety

Right now while I am so scared, and so raw, and so in the mist of spiritual growth, I see how important giving my sobriety everything I have is. It would be so easy to get off course. To forget what gave me my life back in the first place. I'm just trying to remember that feelings aren't fact, and that to shall pass. I'm sick of being scared. I'm sick of being sad. It's like 36 years of suppressed bull. But when I really look at myself honestly, by the Grace of God I think I might be one of the strongest people I know, weird to say when I'm feeling so weak.

5 comments:

  1. Hi, Emily --

    I agree you're pretty strong -- I'm just amazed by what you've accomplished with your sobriety! Not just the length of time, but also this blog, the way you help other people, being a single mom...wow.

    What are you scared of and sad about? Anything we can do to help?

    Montana

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  2. YOU ARE AN INCREDIBLY STRONG WOMAN....AND DON'T YOU EVER FORGET IT!!!

    BIG HUGS YOUR WAY GIRL...I'LL TALK TO YA SOON!

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  3. Such a healthy post. Good reminder to me in knowing feelings aren't really good or bad they are just are .. meaning I can give them power or not... Humm. seems to me that was always my trigger to drink.. No ! Feelings are just there.. no power in themselves.. I reflect quietly each day on this... No simple answers.. Just surrender and acceptance.

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  4. Keep that attitude and never forget! I remember almost a year ago, September, when I was so close to 3 years sober - I gave into those feelings of "I have to have a drink. I am so stressed. I just need one to calm down and relax." Here I am almost a year later, starting over and finding it so much harder the second time. You have a strong support system and that is what you need and what I am hoping to create for myself.

    But aren't our thoughts so incredibly powerful? Are they really our thoughts? Or are they our disease in disguise?

    Thanks for sharing and reminding us.

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  5. Hi Emily,
    I believe that our feelings and emotions are so powerful....so powerful that we need to deal with them, work through them, do whatever we need to do so they don't lead us back to drinking. For the most part, yes, they too shall pass, but if you're talking about 36 years of suppressed feelings that are still causing you fear and sadness...that shows they are having a lot of power over your thoughts, your mind. My prayer for you is that you are able to work through them with the help of friends. You have many here who are willing and ready to listen and to help you in anyway we can. Sometimes just putting it all out there is therapeutic in itself, but it also depends on what you have been through in your past. You may not want to post for all to see. Maybe find a few close friends and a therapist, if you don't already have one, and work through those unresolved feelings so that you can continue to move forward in your sobriety and in your program. I still work through unresolved pain and grief and it really sucks but it is making me stronger day by day, because I will not give them the power to take over my life. Yes, they seem to sneak in here and there and that is going to be normal, especially if you have so much unresolved stuff. You are extremely strong, Erin. I can sense that. But we deserve better than to live with fear and sadness. We are going to have to deal with them on ocassion, but we shouldn't have to live with those feelings daily. Hugs and prayers to you!

    And thank you for sharing, for being real, and for reminding us all that feelings don't have to rule our lives. Hang in there! Stay strong!

    My Grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness...I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. -2 Cor. 12:9

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