Monday, July 5, 2010


Today so does not feel like a Monday, way more like a Sunday. Gavin
and I are just hanging out and chillin today.

Hanging with me today isn't all that fun as I am a bit of a cranky
ass, okay, a huge cranky ass. But I'm trying to curb it as best I can.
I am working REALLY hard to stay in the moments, which is hard when
your cranky and in fear, but I'm trying and I'm sober, so I guess
that's all that counts.

Here are some things that help me get out of my cranky...,

-playing cards with the kids
-taking a bath
-a meeting
-eating something sweet
-calling someone who actually has a reason to be cranky:)
-read a book

Sent from my iPhone


  1. Oh my goodness- Friday I was a HUGE crank, ALL day long. I woke up telling at my three yr old....who actually woke ME up on my one day to sleep in and went to bed crying in a pity party because my date night didn't happen.

    Hated it.

    Hmmmm........when I am cranky I try to text a friend, take a run, write, take a shower.

    Often I eat, but that makes it worse. And napping seems to make it worse, too.

    Happy Monday ;)
    there IS hope~

  2. I was cranky quite a bit over the weekend...partly because I kinda wanted to drink & party with everyone at the Lake/the beach bars, etc. but also because my kids are johnson county brats!! They are spoiled beyond all get out & I was really sick & tired of it!

    So I read my book "The Help" (almost finished with it - excellent book btw), I ran/walked 3 miles both days (1 1/2 walk - 1 1/2 run - I'm a running work in progress, but getting there), I took a nice power nap at the pool, I had some strawberry/blueberry shortcake with whipped cream on top!

    And I also told myself, "It's OKAY to be cranky sometimes - so don't worry about it too much!"

    That's my "cranky ass" story & I'm stickin with it!

  3. I was a wee bit cranky over the weekend too....due to wanting to drink at the beach bars, on the boat, etc. (wasn't too incredibly bad, but I had a hankering) and dealing with my spoiled children (I need to batten down the hatches with those 2).

    I solved this by going for a run...yes J, you heard me...I'm up to between 1.5 to 2 miles per day and am on my 3rd feels amazing!

    I also read when I needed to "check out"...awesome book "The Help" finishing it this a.m. - it's raining cats & dogs here!

    Had some strawbery/blueberry shortcake with whipped cream - that solved a lot of my probs - hehe

    And finally, at times, I just told myself, "It's OKAY to be cranky here & there...I'm not perfect and neither is anyone around me!"

    Have a great day girls!

  4. Oops....Have a great day "everyone"....sorry Randy!!

  5. Good Tuesday morning!

    Annette, first I want to say thanks for giving me some advice while Emily was gone. It helped and while I was in the Rockies this past weekend I tried to "get real" with myself. So, only on day 2 but am encouraged by all of your blogs and posts here.

    Emily, you have an incredible story and your creation of this site has obviously helped many. I plan to be one, but will need to be back on this site this evening when the monkey wants to bug me. So, thank you for this site!

    I have a question for anyone who would like to respond. How do you deal with those around you that continue drinking? My husband says he will support me, however I cannot ask him to stop; for one thing he wouldn't, for another I need to deal with my issues, not his as this time. And I am surrounded with events that include alcohol. How do you deal?

    Thanks in advance and Peace to all!


  6. Boy, I am having difficulty in getting a post to actually, well post! I will try again, perseverance...

    I want to thank Annette for your suggestion for me to "get real" with myself. Just spent this past weekend in Rocky National Forest attempting to do just that. So, only on day 2 but you have to start somewhere.

    And Emily, I want to thank you for this site and your story. Seeing you on Dr. Phil actually made me face something that I knew but really didn't want to know. I know I will need to visit this site often and definitely in the evenings when the monkey comes knockin'.

    I do have a question for anyone who would like to respond. How do you deal with those around you that drink? My husband says he will support me, however that definitely doesn't mean he won't drink around me. AND that is when my defences are at their lowest. He will pop open a beer or several and I feel left out. Also, I have many events that I attend where drinking is a given. How have some of you on this site dealt with things like that?

    Thanks in advance and Happy Tuesday!

  7. Julie- This has been the hardest part of my husband's drinking. I am not going to candy coat it, it has been rough. I had to figure out, with lots of wisdom from my sponsor, that I can only be in charge of myself. i still get frustrated, but it has decreased. So has his drinking!!! All on his own accord. I knew I couldn't ask him to stop. I did tell him I couldn't have it in the house and he respected that. When I discovered he was sneaking drinks I realized I would prefer he have a drink in front of me than try to hide it. That stems back to my father's drinking.

    He has seen a change in me and wants things to be different, too. We have three kids and that is a motivator. One particularly bad fight occured after he drove our kids home and it was clear he had been drinking. I told him that was a deal breaker, it would NOT happen again.

    As far as events where drinking is a given, I make sure I have something there I like to drink, diet coke with lime or a special energy drink or something. Tho the first wedding I went to sober, I drank so much diet coke I was up the whole night!!

    It gets easier.
    thre IS hope!

  8. Julie - I, like you, am having a hard time getting my comments to actually "post"...hence my double post above - and I see you had the same prob.

    Anyway, about husband has been totally supportive. We used to have several cocktails here at home every Fri. nite and sometimes during the week if we felt like it. We don't do that anymore...him either. I've told him that he can feel free to have a cocktail here at the house - he is the breadwinner & I feel that if he wants a drink, he should be able to have one. He hasn't had an evening drink in our house since I got sober 12/16/09. If he did, I don't know that it would bother me at this point in my sobriety (almost 7 months). Right now, I have a 750 ml of vodka and a 1/5 of Seagrams in my pantry. (My husband drinks the same thing I used to). It doesn't matter to me that it is in the pantry. IF I'M GOING TO DRINK, I WILL DRINK WHETHER IT'S IN THE PANTRY OR I HAVE TO GO TO THE LIQUOR STORE....this is a key statement for me. I MUST HAVE SOME SEMBLENCE OF SELF CONTROL....if I don't, I'll drink. NOW....I don't "suggest" keeping alcohol in your pantry like this...I'm just sharing "my life/story"...this may not be a good idea for someone else. My group & sponsor don't like my having alcohol in my house like this, along with my involvement in social functions w/alcohol...they have all told me so. I listen & realize that I am putting myself in a dangerous place every time I attend one of these events....but my social group of friends has been the same for well over 20 years and I am NOT WILLING to let alcohol take that away from me. Since sharing my story with a few of the couples in this group, it seems to me that they have toned it down a few notches when I'm around. For instance, I wasn't with them this past weekend over the 4th & it sounds like things got "pretty outta hand"...I don't think that would've been the case had I been there....I think they might have tamed it down a few notches for my sake. NOW, that's not THEIR JOB to "tame it down" for me - I appreciate it when they do, but they are normal drinkers and should not have to act a certain different way when I'm around....REMEMBER, I HAVE THE PROBLEM - NOT THEM!!!

    My personal experience with this has been "time"....over "time" this past almost 7 months, it's gotten easier & easier to be around my social drinking friends/events...I don't really "crave" my drinks anymore, I just sometimes want to get a buzz when I'm in places sober for the 1st the Lake this weekend, when everyone & their brother is hooping it up. But I will say was incredibly wonderful to not have to wake up with hangovers all weekend...never needed any of the "hair of the dog that bit me"...I felt good every morning I woke up - went for my run/walk and felt great - didn't make an ass outta myself & not remember it.

    My take on this Julie, is that it will get easier with time in sobriety - Hope this helps! You're doing great girl!!! Keep coming back!
    HE is not an alcoholic - I AM. This was a hard concept for me to accept and not act like a "little baby" about in the beginning of my sobriety...I'd pout, isolate, be angry inside, keep telling myself "it's not fair"....just like a little baby, when we were at drinking functions - which is 100% of our social functions. I don't know...I guess I just "didn't drink", eventually got over the pouting & isolating and decided that I'M the only one that can choose how I FEEL & I can sit around being a big party pooper, or I can socialize, laugh, tell funny stories, be involved in the conversations. It was up to me, the one with the drinking problem - I chose to be sociable.

  9. Okay Em - what's up with the blog today???? I just wrote a "huge" response to Julie and when I tried to post it, it wouldn't post & then I was kicked off the internet....had your computer guy been messin with the site or anything? Let me know. Julie - you may have to get Em your e-mail address so she can send it to me...I'll have to retype my novella later this afternoon and send it to ya in regard to your questions. Hang in there Julie - keep comin back - and you CAN DO THIS!!!

  10. Mommaof3 and Annette. THANKS for the great feedback and sharing of your stories. I am soooo incredibly nervous about this undertaking, albiet encouraged!!

    My biggest concern is attending AA. I went to a meeting a couple of years ago and felt that the stories were so way and above where I am. Plus, I just couldn't relate with the Big Book. Don't they have something more up to date? And attending AA in a small town is not very appealing, so I might try to find a support group in a nearby town; I think I need to do something along with this site.

    So, I will continue on here, hoping to "make it" day to day alcohol free.


  11. Hi Mommaof3, Annette and Julie.

    Julie, I understand that you worried about asking your husband to stop drinking around you, but maybe you can ask him to stop just for a little while until you get strong enough. It does get better. It really doesn't bother me if people drink around me, but I do appreciate that my husband doesn't tie one on in front of me, he actually hardly drinks so when he does I don't care. I always tell my husband it's my problem and he can drink when ever or what ever he wants, but I do ask him not to have liquor in the house, but he only drinks beer once in a while. When I go to the mexican place we like I get a virgin margerita, I love it because I just want the fruitiness, maybe just have a virgin drink somewhere, I know most chain places can do it for you and if you have a good bartender they can make it happen. I always have diet cole with me, sometimes I feel like I am going to float away and I may have to go to DCA (diet coke ann.) LOL!! Stay strong and read and enjoy your time without involving alcohol. It is amazing how much more free time you have and the satisfaction you have when you don't have to wake up and say your sorry for being drunk, when you wake up sober you can thank God for another day. Remember one day at a time, Good Luck!!!

  12. Hi Annette
    I wrote a response on Monday and it is not there. Also, Montana wrote a response to mine and it is not there either.

    Wondering what happened to the blog?

  13. Hi, Annette --

    This might sound like I'm joking, but I mean it sincerely: you mentioned above that your friends are "normal drinkers." How do you define that term?

    Thanks --


  14. I have no clue what's up with the blog, but I do know this, emilyism was actually kinda created by God, here's something you may not know about me, I actually have almost no clue how to work a computer. The fact this blog exists is a miracle. When something on here doesn't work my way (which is often) I remember who's blog it actually is, calms me right down. Xo,em

  15. Em- I LOVE it!!

    Julie- I actually don't go to AA, I go to Celebrate there a group like that where you live?

    I feel like I had a 'high bottom'.....lots of the stories I hear are way worse or whatever than I got, but it reminds me every time that I was WELL on my way to becoming one of those stories. I write in a journal and when I quit drinking I wrote an entry that had a list of some of the dumb thigs I used to do. If I ever start thinking that maybe things weren't SO bad or that maybe I am not truly an alcoholic bc my stories don't match someone else's I go back and read what I wrote. People who drink sangria in a travel mug on the way to work have problems. People that chug beer before they take their children to the dentist have problems. Even though I only did each of those things one time, I DID do them.

    And I AM an alcoholic.
    yet there IS hope~