Thursday, June 3, 2010


Last night I dreamt wonderful dreams - it has been months since I have had any dreams at all. I have not slept peacefully over the past few months. Now, I am not a Doctor or a sleep expert, so I have no clue what it actually means to dream, but I think it's a good thing!

This morning I got up and made it to my morning meeting -hardly- I am totally out of the routine of going, but I made it. Lots of people noted that I sure looked better than I did when I came in...yup, no longer grey and sweaty and falling asleep at the table...My sponsor said she use to hope it all sunk in while I slept:) I think it must have! I love that meeting, it saved my life. I was so happy to be there, even though I still felt like falling asleep on the table:)


  1. I love my homegroup meetings as well. After going for over a week with no meetings, if was very refreshing to get back last nite to my 8 p.m. meeting. We talked about gratitude and how along with us becoming grateful, we must also use that gratitude to be of service to the alcoholic that still suffers. I'm so in that mode right now. I have blessings that I am truly grateful for completely surrounding me right now.....I want to give back now. I want to help the person that is still struggling like I was 5 1/2 months ago, I want them to have what I have right now (not literally, unless they want 8-10 boys playing baseball in the backyard - hehe)....seriously - I want to share this happiness - I want others to feel what I'm're not gonna find this kind of happiness in the bottle!

    Hope everyone is having a terrific sober Thursday!

  2. Hi, Emily --

    I started to suffer from horrible insomnia a few months after my Mom passed away suddenly 3 years ago. I had other sudden and new health issues, too, about that time. I am amazed by how badly stress can affect a person physically.

    Anyway, I went to three different doctors with my sleeping problems. When I finally went to the slept specialist (an MD), she told me that everybody dreams every night -- you just don't always remember it. For example, if I took a prescription sleep aid (e.g., Ambien CR), I swore I didn't dream. She said that is not the case, I just don't remember dreaming because of the medication.

    Anyway, the long and short of what she told me is that stress can cause a decrease in estrogen, which among other things, can cause a decrease in serotonin, which is essential for sleep.

    My OB\GYN told me at a later visit that during WWII a lot of women in Europe stop having their cycles due to low estrogen. Too stressful of a time to get pregnant and have a baby. Interesting; so stress directly affects estrogen levels, which directly affects serotonin levels, which directly affects sleep and mood (as I understand it). And the quality of sleep affects one's ability to remember their dreams, again, as I understand it.

    Anyway, my long rambling is only meant to convey that if you think you have not been dreaming much lately, it might be because of other issues and you might want to consider seeing a doctor specializing in this. I have been sleeping like a baby since seeing a sleep specialist (and by "sleeping like a baby", I don't mean sleeping a couple of hours and then waking up and crying!). :) She has me on prescription medication to increase my serotonin levels and I feel like I am "normal" again -- I put "normal" in quotes because of a recent earlier post that pondered whether anyone is normal! :)

    All I can tell you is that my wonderful husband is not worried about my sleeping and mood anymore...


    P.S. (Momma of 3: we will also be on Oahu our whole time: June 11 - 19. We have a lot of stuff planned, as I'm sure you do, too, but if you see anyone with a husband and 2 boys about 11 and 13, who is wearing a baseball style hat with an "M" on it, please stop me and ask me if I'm from Montana. I'll ask you if you have 3 young children, and then maybe we can arrange for a lunch or cup of coffee or something?) :)

    P.S.S. (Emily, I know you know Randy, but he hasn't posted for awhile. Is he OK?)

  3. I, too, went back to my meeting last night. With baseball and my husband's trial {he's an atty} we have been on quite a schedule around here. I wasn't really in the mood to go but knew I had to. And it was so nice to be greeted when I got there and folks asked where I'd been and how I was and it was just comfortable. It was good.

    Montana - email me jameejbATgmailDOTcom

    Heading out to bootcamp - will check back-

  4. Hey Montana,
    Just curious to know what RX your doctor prescribed for you.

  5. Annette -I'll take your help.I was going to go to a meeting yesterday but I was too sweaty from not having a drink that I didn't go. I went home and bought wine. I want the happiness that everyone keeps talking about. I've been reading everyone's comments for awhile now and I like what I read.

  6. Lisa- hang in there...... tomorrow is another day. You can start again!

    There IS hope-

  7. Lisa - I'm out of town until Monday at my son's baseball tourney in St. Louis MO. e-mail Em and she can give you my personal e-mail and we can talk on Monday via e-mail. Hang in there, try not to drink one day at a time and know that there is hope and a better life. I'll say a special prayer for you this a.m.! Talk to you on Monday - P.S., Em knows it's okay to give out my e-mail to anyone that wants some help one-on-one. Hope everyone has a super fab sober day!!