Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Socializing Sober

I'm not going to BS you on this one, it was hard for me in beginning. In the beginning I avoided them (some by force, as I was an ass when I drank) But after I got a few months I started re socializing...slowly...I would go and stay for about 30 minutes, then say I didn't feel well (cause that was the truth) and leave. I felt out of place, like I had nothing to contribute to the conversation, and yes it was uncomfortable. But each time got easier, and now I can hang like Rock star, most days.

I keep hearing these questions, and sooo asked them of myself in the beginning...Will I ever be able to talk on the phone sober? Will I dance again? Will all of the stuff I love to do ever feel right? Yes, yes and yes, in time. Going sober is a bit of a grief process. Easy, allow yourself time to heal. And why worry about that, WERE ALL SUPPOSED TO BE TRYING TO STAY IN THE MOMENT, one second, one minute, one day at a time.


  1. I so try to stay in this moment. In the past (almost) 3 years I have found there are different types of alcoholics just like there are different types of people in general. Live and Let Live, I tell myself over and over. The socializing I do is very positive. I have a group of amazing friends. I sometimes feel bad that I avoid those that are going through life medicated (I know sometimes it is needed but with alcoholics it can just be another crutch and way not to deal with right now). I have to keep myself healthy and first. I do that by surrounding myself with sober people who are WORKING their program. We all have our issues and faults, but I am less tolerant of the excuses. I am getting really good when I meet someone new to ask questions that matter to me. I have this moment and don't want to waste it on people that are claiming to work a program....especially those with decades but seem toxic.

  2. I always try to remember that "If I spot, it I got it." and then not take their inventory or judge them, as I would not like if someone to do that to me. But, yes it's hard when you can hear the unhealthy in someones program. How I do it is I don't take their advice if they don't have what I want.

  3. Good comments... Sometimes I have an occasion or two to go back into the Lions den, so to speak. I am getting better, less inventory taking, less awkwardness on my part. I do sense others feeling uncomfortable around me when their alcohol level elevates, & then I don't want to step on their "good" time, so I move on when it gets wierd. Hey, I realized I don't have to stay 'til closing time anymore. Thank God & friends that have gotten me to this point. I have actually gained some respect & some admirers among the pack. Hopefully some followers.
    Main thing, I'm happy where I'm at...

  4. Learn what "to" do from some people.
    Learn what "not" to do from others.