Friday, February 19, 2010
Post Pulled
My bossy sobriety helper, told me not defend or explain myself or the program I stay sober in. So, if you caught the post I just pulled you know what's going on, a little bit of bull on yonder, which I have been told is none of my business. My sobriety helpers are tuff on me, I think that's a big reason why I'm still sober.
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That and your willingness to see that ... it's huge : ) Keep smiling!
ReplyDeleteHi, Emily --
ReplyDeleteI am Anonymous #1 from earlier posts, and I sent you an e-mail a few days before you were on Dr. Phil. You have yet to respond. Did you not receive it? If not, I'll re-send. I respect what you've had the strength to go through, and would like your opinion.
Emily, you know this is only the beginning, right? First, People (which is how I heard of you). Then Dr. Phil (who I never watched before yesterday until you were on). Look at what's happening with your blog and e-mails. You've scratched the surface. This is a hideous disease, one that people are ashamed of and don't want to talk about and want to try to hide -- many feel it is not a disease, but an indication of weakness in one's character. So they feel it must be kept silent. And yet it is a horrendous killer... I blogged earlier about a single dad (age 38) who died of liver disease from alcoholism this last month. His oldest child is in high school, and he was trying to show them the value of education by continuing his education. He contacted me only a few months ago about that...
In my humble opinion, you need to be on an even more widely viewed show and you need the whole hour. AND you need to promote how people can get help, and you need to remember we are scared. How many moms have said to you "I can't go anywhere for help here, I live in a small town."??? I'm one of them, and I've seen others say the same.
Can you get some connection to another national show and have the whole hour with answers that will help many of us? We all can't have Dr. Phil whisk us away without any notice to La Hacienda.
Your old friend, Anonymous #1
Hi sweetie, I did email you back, ipromise. I'm in class right now i will resend it when I get home. Xoxo em
ReplyDeleteI'm with Anonymous #1 - I think your life is about to move in an extremely good direction! And we're gonna back you all the way! By the way - hello again Anon #1 - haven't heard from you in a while & glad you're back!
ReplyDeleteWent to a speaker meeting tonite and it was absolutely AMAZING!!! I was so moved by this woman's strength, faith & courage. Excellent nite!
I also picked up my 60 day sober chip tonite - it felt soooo good! My life in the past 60 days is the life I wish I would/could have lived for many years instead of drinking away those years. I am grateful that I am happier today, more gracious, at peace, feel healthier, have made tons of new friends, am looking at & living life in a new & exciting way, closer to God than I have been in a really long time, enjoying my husband and boys on a whole new different level.....the list just goes on and on and on! I LOVE MY LIFE & I LOVE MYSELF NOW MORE THAN EVER!!! Sorry all - I am just really happy & excited right now - I TRULY feel good! I want everyone that is struggling with drinking to get the feeling that I have right now!
I've stopped worrying about running into someone I know - I now look "forward" to running into someone I know already in my meetings. It hasn't happened, but I'm sure it will one of these days. I am not ashamed at all of the fact that I'm an alcoholic and one that is working my program religiously in order to stay sober. I always tell myself that I should have been ashamed to run into people I knew back when I was drinking all the time. I never was, but those were the times that I really should have been ashamed. I too never had any consequences i.e., DUI's, job loss, friendship losses, etc. I didn't have any consequences until the last 3 months of my drinking career when my husband told me that if things didn't change, we were goin to have to separate and he'd have the boys. If anything, his timing was good - it was right around the time that Em's People article came out. I knew I had to do something - I wasn't about to lose my family!
Take the 1st step and do the next right thing! You'll look back and see that it was the most important decision you ever made in your life.
Wishing strengh & courage to all -
Annette
youre Blessed to be held accountable by people who love you
ReplyDeleteIm not sure what was said that "had" to be pulled, but I've found that there seems to be alot of tension between the different "mindsets" on what works for helping people with alcohol problems. I, for one, do not believe in god. I resent anyone telling me I have to to overcome an alcohol problem. I was even told to go "worship a tree" if I had to! LOL It was by some flunky in a state run facility who was just trying to get through his day like the rest of us! I say whatever works for that person! End of debate. We are not all the same. We all have different circumstances, sensibilities and needs. No one should have to be afraid to say what works for them, but, be aware, there are always people out there who will want to tell you that you are wrong.
ReplyDeleteWAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Annette! I totally get what you mean about wanting to tell folks now about getting healthy! You got there much faster than me.
ReplyDeleteI am in the process of writing my story. I have {get} to tell it March 4th at my meeting. Aieeeeee.....
{love}
jamee
Annette, may i ask you about the People article regarding Em.? I would love to see and read the article, how long ago was she in the magazine? I would love to try and find the issue. BTW...congratulations to you and your new, exciting life in sobriety. Also, good for you that you are past the hiding, and that you welcome meeting people that you may or may not know at meetings. I do not want anyone to know, (I believe that I have kept "it" well hidden, I know many people in my life that would be totally SHOCKED to say the least). I couldn't bare the disappointment that I would bring to my family and friends. Everyone comes to me for strength and guidance, meanwhile I am weak, hiding behind a secret life that I am totally ashamed of. I can only hope that God has brought me to Emily and her amazing site for the encouragement to regain my life back. I want the happiness that you have in your life now with your family. I know I deserve it, I just need to stop "it" (hard to put a title to it at this time as I am just beginning to accept what I am) and start living a healthier and happier life. Hiding this secret makes me very lonely at night. If a friend wanted me to come over or go out, I can't because I have had a couple of drinks. I also find that before we go out for dinner or a movie etc., I NEED to have a couple of drinks to gain my confidence...so I think. As I find that without, I am quiet, not witty, & boring. Occasionally I will refrain from having a single drop in the evening, (mainly to test my will power) and I am so bored (everyone is asleep, kids are in bed, partner is asleep on the couch as usual, he works hard) I flip through channels on the TV trying to find something, anything that will take my mind off my boredom, and the thoughts of my deprivation that I have chosen to do, I finally go to bed frustrated, not happy, or pleased with myself the way that I should be. "It" becomes a real friend that is hard to live without. I have four wonderful, beautiful children, all who are so healthy and smart. I have so much to live for, but for some screwed up reason, I feel better when I have a "buzz"....so sad to admit. I feel better in the mornings when I do not partake, but that good feeling doesn't last. I look forward to the next evening when I will partake as my reward for not indulging the night before. Sounds so crazy even to me. I stumbled upon Emily while changing TV channels the other day to find Dr. Phil talking to a Mother who drinks, (BTW...I thought the coffin scene that Dr. Phil was ACTING out was inappropriate, he was like a bully in my opinion)) I was so glad that no one was home yet, as I would not have watched that show in fear that someone in my family might wonder why I was glued to the TV. Lucky for me, and/or God's intervention, I was alone to watch the show, and felt an immediate connection to Emily. I couldn't wait to get on her web site. I felt it was a safe place for me to view, and now I am writing on her site and I can't seem to stop as you can see.
ReplyDeleteThanks in advance for reading this and replying if you want to.
Maybe one day I won't feel like I HAVE to remain anonymous.
ps - I am using my son's laptop as I am so nervous that someone might go back in the history to see that I was on this site if I was to use the family computer, (my son never checks, I know this for sure)....sad isn't it???
Hi, Annette --
ReplyDeleteYour posts help me alot, too. I'm starting my sobriety today, so I will be 60 days behind you. Please keep posting about how you are doing. I don't post regularly, but I read regularly.
And Emily, thank you for your e-mail reply. You have been so helpful. I will keep in touch with you via e-mail and let you know how I am doing.
Anonymous #1
Dear Anon who is using your son's laptop-
ReplyDeleteYou are saying many of the same things I said before. I really had a better time, so I thought, when I had a tiny buzz before going out. And truthfully, it has been hard for me to push through some moments and get to the main event, whatever it might be, sober. But I have always had a good time. And it has always surprised me ;)
I remember in January, getting ready for a lingerie shower. I mean seriously, how does one go to a lingerie shower sober and stay sober. Well, I did, and there was no alcohol there at all and it was fun.
I am learning, one sober event at a time.
There is hope!!
Oh I'm so happy to have found this site. I relate so much to the woman that says "it" is a great friend. "It" is my friend too & by chance I saw Emily on Dr. Phil. Now what to do about it all. Hope someone communicates with me!
ReplyDeleteLouise-
ReplyDeleteAsk questions of us. Why do you think you have a problem? What have you thought about doing about it before? What are you thinking about doing about it now?
mommaof3, You said to ask questions & you asked several of me. I've known that I'm an alcoholic for probably 20 years...but I'm a functioning (is there such a thing?) alcoholic. t I drink about a bottle of wine everyday & it affects my relationship with my husband (I can be very argumentative when I've been drinking). I also feel awful...don't sleep well, hungover the next day but then I get up and start all over again. I try not to open that bottle of wine till after 12 (I'm now retired from a 30 year career so I certainly have daytime to drink!) & I can barely wait to have that first sip of wine. I'm an alcoholic for sure. When you decided not to drink, did you feel like you were living minute by minute just praying that you wouldn't drink? I'm not sure what to even expect since I've never tried to stop drinking.
ReplyDeleteI would say yes to the minute by minute, but also had to think in my head I WOULD never drink again. I am the queen of justification and did quit drinking two previous times without any professional help. I knew, KNEW, this time that I had to have outside help in order to succeed.
ReplyDeleteI also relate to what you say about setting a time to wait to drink until.....like waiting til noon. My time was 5, but sometimes 430 if I was watching Oprah. I drank in coffee cups so that my kids wouldn't see it.
I cried a lot when I quit. I couldn't sleep. It was hard. It is hard.
But there IS hope :)
I have to get to a meeting, but will write more later.....
{love!}
Anonymous 2/20/10 at 8:38 - The People magazine that Em's story is in is the 11/2/09 issue - maybe go on People.com and request a copy of that issue or maybe you can read it online - not sure, I've never been on their website.
ReplyDeleteYou can read it online!!
ReplyDelete