As you can tell from my last few entries I have been in pain and struggling, not really with drinking, but with life. In the beginning of my sobriety I would be in massive amounts of pain and then come out of it with a huge amount of knowledge and growth. That is happening to me now, but with life instead of drinking.
I have a new sense of calm, many things to reflect on, and some work to be done. That is okay with me today, because I know the reward is great. I am grateful that I have a solution, and getting drunk is no part of it. A wise person once told me "You can't think your way out of your feelings." another told me "Feelings aren't facts." Feeling your feelings is hard, but the fact I feel them today instead of numbing is a blessing.