Thursday, January 14, 2010

Drunk Dialing

During the last few years of my drinking all I really wanted to do was sit on the back patio and drink. If I couldn't find someone to drink with, I would drunk dial whomever would listen. I created mass drama via the telephone and woke up every morning with total fear and regret about who I called, or what I said. Looking back, it was horrible, but at the time it seemed normal, it's just what I did. It took me months in sobriety to have a comfortable phone conversation (maybe it was God's way - shhhh, My child - you have talked enough:)

I am so grateful to wake up in the morning and not have to wonder who I called, or what I said.

My drunk dialing cycle looked something like this...

get drunk-drunk dial-pass out-wake up sad and scared about who I called and what I said-drink to feel better-drunk dial-passout- then wake up sad and scared about who I called and what I said-drink to feel better-drunk dial-passout-wake up feeling sad and scared about who I called and what I said....

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results." -Albert Einstein

3 comments:

  1. I could have written this same note verbatim! Too bad we weren't friends back then - we could have sat at on the deck together & bothered no one by phone! haha

    Off the top of my head, I can think of 3 friends that I lost because of my drunk dialing at all hours of the nite - step #9 will include them of course - not there yet though. I felt the exact same way you did - but I still continued to do it nite after nite! So glad I don't do it anymore. We alkies are sooooo alike it's scary!

    e-mail ya in the a.m.

    Hugs - Annette

    ReplyDelete
  2. My sponsor has given me that same quote..... {LOVE}

    ReplyDelete
  3. wow....i do the same thing. I dont feel like i can talk or i dont have the energy to talk to anyone unless i'm drinking.........

    ReplyDelete