Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Funk

I am in A FUNK. First off, it is totally my PMS week, which always sucks and makes everything seem so much worse.

I woke up late this morning for class and almost didn't go. I was full of excuses. I went to class last night, I am going to be late, I didn't tell anyone I would be there. Dangerous place for an alcoholic. I felt like laying in bed and feeling sorry for myself all day. Thank God I didn't, as I have a tendency to turn one day of self pity into a month. I got up, got ready and went. I was 15 minutes late, but I made it.

There is a whole lot going on in my life right now, some good stuff, some bad. Just a lot and I'm overwhelmed. I'm not really ready to share about it yet, but maybe one day.

So for today I am trying to make this my mission statement..."You have everything you need right this second," which I do, but it's still super hard to stay in the moment with so much going on. I need a hug!

6 comments:

  1. I SUPER hate funks! Sometimes I feel like I just need to take a shower and wash all the crap off....

    I'll say a quick prayer for you, friend----

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  2. Sending big bear hugs your way girl!!! Hang in there - it'll get better! Annette

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  3. Since you are not feeling so great- it might not be the best time to ask- first i guess i should intro myself...stay @ home mom to an amazing 3 yr old hoping for #2, wife to his beloved daddy for 7 mostly outstanding years and a grateful recovering alcoholic for the past 5 and a little bit yrs....so i would love to chat some time- however my main question is how was the reaction to your coming out as sober?? the reason i ask is i am quite active in my community and chair a few commitees, etc. but i can not believe that in my community i am alone in this illness, in my own family my brother is also recovering (i think-very new)....i am interested in reaching out to other moms around me so they dont need to feel alone, or act as a referral to those in crisis....but i am unsure of the reveal!

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  4. Most of the people in my community knew I was sober, so that part wasn't really hard, going public with it for the rest of the world to judge was, a lot of prayer and group support went into me making that choice. I wanted to help people also and it has, so well worth it! As for helping people, I don't know if you go to meetings or a support group but the best way to help people is to reach out to the newcomer. You could also start a meeting or support group. I have also found out (kind of the hard way) that it is better to wait for them to want help. Doing that can be hard especially when you know they need it. Good for you for wanting to help people, that's what it's all about! I would love to chat sometime. We have group chat on here this Sunday. If you would like to join us just send me your email. God Bless, Emily

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  5. Dear Anon---

    I cannot be completely open in my sobriety right now, either. I teach at a church school, help run the preschool Sunday School, etc and my husband works for the government so....... it is tricky.

    Some days I want to scream...."I haven't had a drink in so and so months" down the hallway at school. Probably wouldn't go over well. I do have 3 or 4 close friends that know what I am doing. And as I feel led, I share my story, privately, one on one.

    It even took my husband til my one year to bring it up. He'd kinda talk about it when I brought it up, but he never did.

    I agree though, there has got to be women who are isolated, hurting, alone....

    I go to a recovery group that actually meets at my place of worship, though it is not strictly through my church.

    Its hard.....but so worth it.....Yeah for being sober!

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  6. thanks i'll send my email along!!

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