Friday, December 11, 2009
I am home all alone tonight. Beau is spending the night at a friends and Gavin is at his Dad's. I remember the nights of being alone in early sobriety being horrible. I was physically and mentally uncomfortable and painfully lonely. The only thing that got me through the weekends I didn't have my kids was watching reruns of America's Next Top Model. It was the one thing that made me feel a little bit better. I would practice saying "Easy breezy beautiful Covergirl" in the mirror. I got my chance to do it for real with the People photographer (so super cool!) Now being alone is something I cherish, something I look forward to. I never want to go back to that lonely place and I know as long as I stay sober I don't have to.