Sunday, November 15, 2009

Sobriety Sunday

I am going to be blogging throughout the day about sobriety.

Here are a few things I do to stay sober... go to meetings, pray, call my sponsor, help other people, pray, go to meetings, call my sponsor. help other people:)

Here is an actual entry from my journal...

December 2007
Powerless- O' my Gosh I am, even the thought of trying to quit on my own is funny. There was no way. Alcohol was my best friend, my support system, my comfort. Boy, did that back fire. I knew for a long time that I couldn't control it, I didn't even try. It was easier to drink. It make me feel better. I didn't even think about how I couldn't get out of bed, how I couldn't get anything done, how I drank instead of playing with my kids, how I fought and argued with everyone and how I went totally crazy. I didn't think of any of that just when I could take the next drink. It had total and complete control of me.


May 2007
Sobriety is the hardest thing I have ever done. There are so many things I can't imagine doing. Going on a sober vacation, dancing, being excited. I am writing this in the hopes that I can one day look back and this will all be a faded memory, like I do with my first week. I have faith and I am hopeful.

UPDATE: I have danced sober, gone on a sober vacation and I get excited all the time!

In my first year of sobriety even though I felt better in meetings, like there was a power there you couldn't see, I still felt like I didn't fit in, like people didn't really like me and that I was still all alone. I know now that was my disease trying to keep me out of the place that would save my live. I still sometimes feel that way, I just don't care anymore. I go there to stay sober not to win a popularity contest. I am now okay with being alone with myself. That is such a blessing of sobriety...being comfortable in your own skin:) I am off to walk to the store with Beau, will write more later, Em

In a few minutes I am going to meet with another sober person to go over my resentments. Fun right!? Not really it's like pulling the band-aid off, it hurts pretty bad for a minute and sometimes opens the wound. But this is not my first time at doing this step and I know it's worth it! Trust me it's worth it, or I so wouldn't be doing it.

7 comments:

  1. While reading this, all I can think is wow.. that is completly what I was thinking and feeling as well. Thank-you for these posts.

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  2. That is actually my 1st step work out of my journal, so raw...I couldn't imagine my live without alcohol...now I can't imagine it with...so glad I hung on. Thanks for commenting! Emily

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  3. a friend sent me a link to your blog. Tomorrow will be 11 months sober for me. I really identified with your thoughts about dancing, vacationing, etc while sober. I have been to a few weddings and actually had fun sober, but the vaation thing still makes me think. And this will be my first set of holidays sober and not pregnant. I look forward to reading more posts. For some reason my computer makes me comment as anonymous....brickmomma... www.brickhausof5.com

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  4. My first sober vacation was really hard. We went to Sea World and I quickly found out that they are sponsored by Bud Light, which was my drug of choice. I don't know what I was thinking but I had no meeting schedule set up and had to find a meeting on-line. Thank God that is easy to do. If I had any advice it would be to set up meetings before you go. Thank you for commenting, your comments mean a lot to me! Have a wonderful day, Emily

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  5. O' and CONGRATULATIONS on 11 months, that is wonderful!!

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  6. I want to thank you for your amazing honesty. Your Dec. 07 journal entry was my story to a tee in June of this year. In a matter of three months, I went from being a so-called "functioning" alcoholic to a full blown, alcohol-obsessed waste of a life. Alcohol caused me tremendous anxiety and fear, yet I drank more to overcome the fear. The anxiety I reduced by taking too much Xanax. July 4th, 2009, is my very own "Independence Day" and I found it through way of Veritas Villa rehab in Kerhonksin, NY. I am blessed in so many ways that I never really lost anything except time, money, and self-respect. I had no idea that taking Xanax on a regular basis could lead to dangerous withdrawal symptoms. People should know this also, Xanax is not the magic pill it can be portrayed as. It is highly addictive...
    There are too many wonderful things I've experienced since being sober that the thought of having a drink and ruining things makes my skin crawl. I can no longer watch certain programs on T.V. because they remind me too much of the many days I spent laying in bed, drunk and/or too hung over to move. I no longer wish for rain so I don't have to take my boys to their sporting events. Four months of sobriety has given me more pure joy than I can remember in most of my adult life. I no longer meander through life, exhausted and arranging my schedule around alcohol. I have two sons, eight and ten. Having the ability to speak openly and honestly with them about drugs and alcohol is a dream come true. Boy, my fifth grader knows alot more than I did when he was my age. I serve proudly as the D.A.R.E. committee chairperson for their elementary school. I have more freedom than I ever knew was possible. Freedom to have thoughts and feelings knowing they aren't clouded by alcohol. I also realized, I'm still alot of fun without the drinks. In four short months, I've been sober at a wedding, a reunion, a Halloween party, and dinner parties at my own house. I have danced sober too!! I have extremely supportive non-alcoholic friends as well as many new friends in A.A. I am lucky to be sober, and I wake up feeling blessed each and every day. Thanks for your blog, Emily -- you are an inspiration to many people.

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  7. Thank you so much for commenting! Your post brought tears to my eyes.Thank you for sharing your truth! Being the D.A.R.E chairperson is brillant, I may follow your lead Is soberity not the best thing ever!?:) God Bless, Emily

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