I am going to be blogging throughout the day about sobriety.
Here are a few things I do to stay sober... go to meetings, pray, call my sponsor, help other people, pray, go to meetings, call my sponsor. help other people:)
Here is an actual entry from my journal...
Powerless- O' my Gosh I am, even the thought of trying to quit on my own is funny. There was no way. Alcohol was my best friend, my support system, my comfort. Boy, did that back fire. I knew for a long time that I couldn't control it, I didn't even try. It was easier to drink. It make me feel better. I didn't even think about how I couldn't get out of bed, how I couldn't get anything done, how I drank instead of playing with my kids, how I fought and argued with everyone and how I went totally crazy. I didn't think of any of that just when I could take the next drink. It had total and complete control of me.
Sobriety is the hardest thing I have ever done. There are so many things I can't imagine doing. Going on a sober vacation, dancing, being excited. I am writing this in the hopes that I can one day look back and this will all be a faded memory, like I do with my first week. I have faith and I am hopeful.
UPDATE: I have danced sober, gone on a sober vacation and I get excited all the time!
In my first year of sobriety even though I felt better in meetings, like there was a power there you couldn't see, I still felt like I didn't fit in, like people didn't really like me and that I was still all alone. I know now that was my disease trying to keep me out of the place that would save my live. I still sometimes feel that way, I just don't care anymore. I go there to stay sober not to win a popularity contest. I am now okay with being alone with myself. That is such a blessing of sobriety...being comfortable in your own skin:) I am off to walk to the store with Beau, will write more later, Em
In a few minutes I am going to meet with another sober person to go over my resentments. Fun right!? Not really it's like pulling the band-aid off, it hurts pretty bad for a minute and sometimes opens the wound. But this is not my first time at doing this step and I know it's worth it! Trust me it's worth it, or I so wouldn't be doing it.