This is an actual journal entry written in the first week of my sobriety...
Somewhere in my brain I always knew that sobriety was my only hope, but I fought it until the bitter end. Until my life was so out of control so unmanageable that I had no choice.
This is the hardest thing I have ever done. I am scared. I am sad. All I can think about is drinking. I know they say One Day at a Time, but for me it is minute by minute. The constant craving in my body is almost painful. I want it gone, I will pray. I know everyone goes through this, people in meetings understand. I know I better reach out or I will fall flat on my face. I can not do this alone. Tonight I will.
On a positive note I am getting things done that I would have put off. I can now get out of bed in the morning and I wake up in a good mood to meet the day. It is not all bad just very very hard. Emily
"Don't give up before your miracle" my sponsorsism
If you are in the beginning of your journey in sobriety...I can promise you this, there is a miracle on the other side of the rainbow and it is better than any old pot of gold.