Monday, November 30, 2009

The People Update

People magazine printing my website changed my life. I received tons of emails from Moms in the same position I was. It was then I truly got how my article had affected people. Thank you and God Bless People magazine and all the wonderful women that e-mailed me, for it was you guys that I did it for. I never want anyone struggling with alcoholism to feel alone, because the truth is you aren't, there are thousands of us. Many still suffer alone and that just doesn't need to happen. If you are suffering silently know that I love you. I have been where you are and there is a solution.



Sunday, November 29, 2009

Lost Dog (has been found)

Our beautiful yellow lab "Brinkley" got out this afternoon. She is a loving, sweet 3 year old lab. I am sure whoever has her has fallen in love. We posted signs and made a trip to the pound with no luck. We will continue our hunt for Brinkley tomorrow. Please pray for her safe return.

Well y'all must of prayed really hard because Brinkley is home safe and sound. I fed her some pizza rolls and will be taking her to the dog park today. Sometimes when you lose something you re evaluate what it means to you. I am really a cat person but that does not mean that I should neglect my adorable, sweet dog. So to the dog park we go.

Sobriety Sunday

Happy Sunday everyone! Today I am going to grab a journal and share whatever page I turn to...ready, set, go

October 2009
I often hear "You don't look like an alcoholic" It amazes me every time I do. I just want to say "neither does your doctor or lawyer or kid's teacher but they very well could be." Alcoholism is not choosy it will take anyone it can get black, white, rich, poor, women or men.

I am off to get ready for a meeting. Feel free to leave suggestions, I love when you guys do that!

I'm back, I actually went to 2 meetings! I love driving!

April 27, 2008
I took pleasure in someone elses pain. I am sorry God. I talked behind someones back. I am sorry God. I did not pray in the morning. I am sorry God. Please help me to improve.

Making amends is key to staying sober. The quicker and more effectively you do it the better. I know I owe an amends because when I do I am often uncomfortable until it's made. I am willing to do cause the second I do I feel better.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Naps

Naps are great. I take one almost ever day. Like I said in an earlier post I am still pretty new in recovery and know that if I want to stay sober I better remember that. If I get too tired I am a mess. I learned early on to H.A.L.T and ask myself am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired. In my first year it was almost always all of them. Now when I am feeling off it is pretty much always that I am tired or hungry. So I take a nap then I get up and eat a little something and I am all good again. Yeah Naps!

Bionic Bands Rock!

Bionic Bands Rock...do I wear one? Totally, they are amazing! I feel a sense of positive energy every time I have mine on, so much so that I have to take it off before I go to bed. I am so happy to have Bionic Bands on my site! So go check out the link on the right and shop away. Bionic Bands are great for people 8 to 80!

Bionic Bands are a new technology that gives you strength, balance and energy just by wearing one!


Friday, November 27, 2009

Our Thanksgiving...

Thanksgiving was wonderful. We had no real plan...just to go with the flow. I took a sponsee to visit her litter mates at her rehab (a litter mate is the group of people you got sober with) Then we came back here and cooked. While the turkey was cooking and everyone was taking a nap I snuck over to my friends house to visit with them for awhile. When I got back in my car to come home and check on the bird it wouldn't start...I tried and tried and tried, but no cigar. So one of my friends drove me home. Then we ate...It was great! I am actually a pretty good little cook! It was wonderful, no stress, eating with the people I love and help with the dishes. It was an all around great day. Then I went back to get my car and still it wouldn't start. I called the company they promptly called me back and said it's probably how I was humming. I retried and it started right up!

We are decorating for Christmas today! Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Em

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Hugs are Free

I know first hand that the holidays can be hard. I will be checking my e-mails throughout the next few days. Please do not hesitate to send me an e-mail if you are having a hard time and need a cyber hug.

What a difference a year can make!

Last year on Thanksgiving my boys were at their Dad's, John was with his family and I was alone. My x was threatening to leave me homeless and I was financially and spiritually broken. I felt that there was no chance for me and that I had stayed sober and done all that work for nothing.

What a year can do for a girl! I am so thankful! If you read my blog you know all the neat and wonderful stuff going on in my life. There are a ton of exciting things happening in the near future that I can't wait to tell you guys about! But you'll have to wait cause as of right now I am on vacation!

Have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving. God Bless, Em

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

multitastical

Today I dealt with a drunk kid (no, not my own), met with a newcomer, got my nails done and did an interview with a Colombian radio station live all at the same time. No I am not kidding...it was CRAZY! Gavin said "Mom you are multitastical" gavinism. O' and yes I picked up my chip:)

I'm Legit!

I just drove myself to the store to get milk, for the first time in 2 years! I am super excited to be able to go where I need to go when I need to go. YEAH!

Monday, November 23, 2009

I am 2 today!

Today I am two years sober. I remember in meetings seeing other people say they were 2 years sober and thinking that was so much time, maybe you are reading this and thinking the same thing. The deal with that is after my 1st year, time flew. Last year I was in a depression on my sobriety day...it was horrible! I had worked so hard and a depression? Everything happens for a reason and it got me where I am today, so I ain't bitchin. I have learned that excitement is not a feeling I like. I have also learned to be very in tune to my ups and downs, to stay balanced. If your curious why that depression happened here's why I think it did...my good friend got a DUI, I was eating like shit and was way to excited about making it a year, along with life happening. So this year I am just going to take it easy. I have a very busy day today so I am going to get what I need to get done and maybe think about going to a meeting to pick up a chip.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Sobriety Sunday

Good Morning everyone! I received a request to share on my experience with having another alcoholic in your life. I will be taking requests all throughout the day:)

July 2008

I almost drank this weekend. The only thing that stopped me is God and the thought of having to stand up for another 30 days. (Name withheld) drank 4 days straight, it hurt so bad, I have never been so angry.

So I went to a different kind of meeting. I hated it. I would rather dump him, but I will give it 30 days. With the help of God I will stay calm, not say a word about his alcoholism and transmit nothing but love. The meeting I went to teaches you how to detach and maybe that's what I need to do.

May 2008
I am trying to find something to do on Sundays. Sundays suck. (Name withheld) hangs out and gets drunk with his friends all day. I am resentful. I loved drinking all day on Sundays, which is sad being that it is the day of rest and all. My sobriety is becoming more and more important to me. It is the most important thing in my life. Check Spelling

Present
It took me a very long time, but I now know I can control no one else drinking. And If I try to I could lose the chance to be helpful somewhere down the line. I don't want to make it sound like I'm perfect with this, I am not. When you love someone it is really hard not to say anything especially if you're worried about them or it hurts you...I just do my best!

It took awhile but I did find something to do on Sundays... Sobriety Sundays...Thanks God!

Tomorrow is my sobriety date...I will be 2, explains some of my bratty behavior:)


Requests

I am taking requests and suggestions for Sobriety Sunday. Do you have any questions? Would you like me to share about a certain problem or feeling or topic? Or I could share from my journal on whatever month most people are in (2 months sober, 12 months sober etc.) You can leave me your suggestion in the comment section below or email them to me at emilyism.com@gmail.com

Broken Promises

Do you make plans time and time again with the best of intentions? "I am going to get up early, make a pot of coffee and hit the ground running" Then after a night of drinking blow them all off and find yourself sleeping in, not doing what you promised yourself you would? Well, I did that all the time when I was drinking and blamed it on everything else besides my drinking...I deserve to sleep in, it's Monday or Sunday or Friday, I am depressed, I will do it tomorrow, but tomorrow never came. I was constantly disappointed in myself. You know how I know it was my drinking? Because I don't do it anymore. Now when I tell myself I am going to do something as long as it is in God's plan for me it gets done.

If you ended up on my website reading this post it may be for a reason. If you're not sure if you're an alcoholic try not drinking for 30 days. If you can do that happily with no help maybe you aren't an alcoholic, But if you can't maybe you are. And if you can and your life gets better in that 30 days why would you ever drink again, so maybe you are.

Here's the deal...The only person that can decide you're an alcoholic is you. Kinda powerful don't you think.

Friday, November 20, 2009

The Police

Beau has 5 friends spending the night tonight. They know the rules... no sneaking out, no smoking of anything and no drinking or you're not allowed back. My house is the "fun" house, they like it here so they follow the rules.

They baked cookies, had pizza, played video games and dished on each other. Then they asked to build a fire. I let them do that. Once it gets as big as I am comfortable with (which isn't very big) I tell them it can't get any bigger or they're putting it out. They listened to that, cause the fire isn't why the cops came to the door, it was a noise complaint. Now my bedroom window is facing the backyard...I could only hear whispering voices, they were not being that loud.

I answered the door and two young cops are standing there, They tell me they got a noise complaint. I explain that there are 5 14 year olds in the backyard and at least they aren't running the streets. I told them I would tell them to come in. I then go in the backyard and see a beautiful sight, there they are all sitting around their little fire quietly talking. They are still out there, I told them to be very quiet and come in once the fire burns out. They are kinda adorable young men (if they knew I called them adorable they would call me a douche) But they are,6 football playing freshman, sitting around the fire bonding...adorable!

Pizza Fridays

When I wasn't so broke I always had "Pizza Fridays" for the boys. Beau called from school today and asked if he could have some friends sleep over... I said sure! He has been grounded for weeks now because of his poor grades. He's a great kid but his grades...they suck! I am letting him have some friends spend the night because he has been trying so hard this week. He even went to family reading night with Gavin and was an incredible big brother. I am happy that I have a tiny bit of money to order pizza for them...it has been awhile. No drivers license yet...but that's okay having "Pizza Friday" is worth waiting an extra day or so to get my license back:) (Thanks Sheryl! Go Bionic Bands!)

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Cravings

I often get asked if I still get cravings...not very often anymore and when I do I know what to do about it. In the beginning of sobriety I had cravings so bad they actually hurt. One day I sat on my hands on the couch and prayed until they went away. I look back now and think "God how did I do that?" that's the answer God. My sponsor and I got together when I was about 2 months sober, she took my hands and we said a special prayer. She told me that many peoples cravings went away after doing this step.Was it the power of words or God?...who cares! My cravings did go away, at least the ones that hurt did. It went from me thinking about drinking every 5 minutes or so, to ever hour, to a few times a day, to every few days, to once a week, to just when I was upset or in trigger places...crowded rooms, places that smell like alcohol, airports (I have yet to fly sober) and once in awhile when people drink on TV.

That's part of what I mean when I promise it gets better. I no longer have to drink or even think about drinking. It had a flippin death grip on me and today I am free of that. Thank God!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

My Morning Meeting

This morning I got to go to the meeting I got sober in. I love it there, when I walk in the room I am home. I sit in the same chair, next to the same person and get love and hugs from many of the same people. Two years ago when I walked into that special room I was broken, but my life changed forever. I finally found a place where people knew how I felt, what I was going through, how I was thinking. I was no longer all alone. The difference between them and me was they knew the solution. They were laughing and I was not, so I listened to what they told me to do, because of that and the Grace of God I am sober today. I love every single person there, they saved my life.

Doing the right thing

It has sadly come to my attention that there are a few people out there compromising doing the right thing to save their own ass, don't they get that doing the right thing is what saves your ass?

I am only going to say this once...

-I will not be involved with any show, article, campaign, commercial or book that mentions the name of the program I got sober in. Thank you for respecting this.

-Also I am asking that only the faded picture of my children in People magazine be shown on TV. I understand that People magazine gives shows permission to show the article and that is fine with me (I <3 People Magazine) It is just my personal request.

With that being said I want to thank a few people. Thank you to Alicia Dennis the best reporter in the world. Thank you to Laura Frank for your kindness and understanding. Thank you to People magazine for both doing an article on such an important topic and publishing www.emilyism.com. I will do a story for you anytime! It is helping a ton of women and doing it was worth every bit of fear I had to walk through. You guys ROCK!!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Up and Down

The up....Gavies Thanksgiving feast. I just love that kid. Mostly I love that he is still at the age where he likes me to be involved and still hugs me before I leave. Gavin is an all around great kid!

The down....Finding out once again that not everyone can be an Emily fan. Here's the deal for now this is my personal blog. It is about me, my life, my journey in sobriety, my fun times and my sad times. If it helps you, makes you laugh or you relate that is wonderful! I love getting your e-mails, they help keep me sober. It is hard to put your life out there to be judged, but I know this is helping people and to me that's all that matters.

The up....Having your super cute new neighbor drive you to kinkos to fax a contract to 'The Rachael Ray Show' it has been all up from there:)

The up....Then I went to visit my neighbors and ask them to re-send the RR contract, I guess it didn't go through the first time. Thanks Amanda! They are the funniest family I know. Mom, Dad and 5 daughters. They are flipping hilarious! They told me I had to pay them to use any of their stories, they swear like truck drivers, Dad is a truck driver in fact, so I'm not sure I could have used it anyway. But it was just the thing I needed. They are wonderful, they always welcome me into their home. When I ask If I may have something to drink they answer "Hell yes, it ain't your first time here you know where the sodas are, grab yourself something to eat while your in there." I did a freshly baked, beautifully decorated, sugar cookie. Thanks guys for having me over and letting me be part of your fun family!

The up....Reading my Beau who is 14 years old some of "A Boy called It" before going to bed is priceless and a perfect way to end the day!
"Never be scared to ask for what you're worth, just remember that God is your appraiser." emilyism.com

Gratitude

I just wanted to let everyone know I am feeling much better today. The power of prayer, tears and sleep is amazing! I also want to thank you all for your e-mails, helping other people helps get me out of my head, and reconfirms why I am doing all of this! Thank you. I love you all, Emily

Monday, November 16, 2009

Tuff Day

I don't talk much on here about my relationship troubles. But for my own healing I am going to a little bit tonight. I have never ended a relationship without a fight, someone cheating, mass drama or without threats of a restraining order. Just knowing it is not what's best for me, knowing it is time to move is a blessing of sobriety. But here's the deal it hurts, you can feel it, there is no more numbing agent. I have a heavy heart and am sad. Even though it was a long time coming and I have tried doing it a million times it still sucks,the guy's my best friend. It was a very very co-dependant relationship and at this point in my sobriety I recognize that...even picked up a chip for it tonight (that was weird)I just want this person to know I love him and am thinking about him and wish him the best! With that being said I am going to cry myself to sleep. You can't reason your way out of your feelings and right now I am feeling sad:(

Dancing Sober

When I first got into recovery I could not imagine dancing sober. I would try at home, while no one was watching, and it was like...Go Feet, Go Feet. I couldn't even get my feet to move. I wrote about it in my journal and then let it go. Then months later my neighbor invited me to go to a restaurant with dancing she goes to every Friday. She warned me it kinda had an older crowd (like people between 50-99 years old) I thought "Why not? If you can't dance in from of them it's just ego" So I went and I gave it a shot...first dance, kinda hard...I looked at my feet and thought, "Go Feet, Go Feet...get your groove on...Go Feet" Then they played the Electric Slide and it was on like Donkey Kong. I haven't had a problem dancing ever since. Go Feet!!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Sobriety Sunday

I am going to be blogging throughout the day about sobriety.

Here are a few things I do to stay sober... go to meetings, pray, call my sponsor, help other people, pray, go to meetings, call my sponsor. help other people:)

Here is an actual entry from my journal...

December 2007
Powerless- O' my Gosh I am, even the thought of trying to quit on my own is funny. There was no way. Alcohol was my best friend, my support system, my comfort. Boy, did that back fire. I knew for a long time that I couldn't control it, I didn't even try. It was easier to drink. It make me feel better. I didn't even think about how I couldn't get out of bed, how I couldn't get anything done, how I drank instead of playing with my kids, how I fought and argued with everyone and how I went totally crazy. I didn't think of any of that just when I could take the next drink. It had total and complete control of me.


May 2007
Sobriety is the hardest thing I have ever done. There are so many things I can't imagine doing. Going on a sober vacation, dancing, being excited. I am writing this in the hopes that I can one day look back and this will all be a faded memory, like I do with my first week. I have faith and I am hopeful.

UPDATE: I have danced sober, gone on a sober vacation and I get excited all the time!

In my first year of sobriety even though I felt better in meetings, like there was a power there you couldn't see, I still felt like I didn't fit in, like people didn't really like me and that I was still all alone. I know now that was my disease trying to keep me out of the place that would save my live. I still sometimes feel that way, I just don't care anymore. I go there to stay sober not to win a popularity contest. I am now okay with being alone with myself. That is such a blessing of sobriety...being comfortable in your own skin:) I am off to walk to the store with Beau, will write more later, Em

In a few minutes I am going to meet with another sober person to go over my resentments. Fun right!? Not really it's like pulling the band-aid off, it hurts pretty bad for a minute and sometimes opens the wound. But this is not my first time at doing this step and I know it's worth it! Trust me it's worth it, or I so wouldn't be doing it.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Blogging before Bed

I got so many heartfelt e-mails today. They reminded me of why I do all this. I never want anyone suffering with alcoholism to feel alone again. I remember in the beginning of sobriety I often felt lonely but never alone. It was true when other sober people said they would love me until I could love myself. Once I got what "We" truly meant I never felt as alone again. Please feel free to leave your comments here or e-mail me at emilyism.com@gmail.com.

Tomorrow I will be blogging some from my journals!

Good Night and God Bless, Em

Sobriety Tweets

I know this is not for everyone, but if you would like me to tweet your sobriety date send me an e-mail with your first name and sobriety date to emily@emilyism.com then follow me on twitter @emilyism....super fun!!!

It will be tweeted something like this...
Congratulations on 30 days Mary!

"Staying Sober One Tweet at a Time"

The Newcomer

I am starting to get a lot of e-mails and think it is important I explain some things. I answer every e-mail myself and it is my honor to do so. I treat every person in the beginning of sobriety as a newcomer. Without newcomers to help no one would stay sober. If you have relapsed in the past and feel bad about it or think of yourself as a relapser, know that I don't feel that way about you. You're a precious newcomer starting out on the amazing journey of sobriety. I love you and am proud of you. Hang on tight guys, it gets better, I PROMISE!

Friday, November 13, 2009

http://www.abc15.com/content/living/familylife/story/Why-Valley-moms-secretly-drink-to-get-through-the/PVkKGW8z3UGPhTVXDybUGg.cspx

http://www.abc15.com/content/living/familylife/story/Why-Valley-moms-secretly-drink-to-get-through-the/PVkKGW8z3UGPhTVXDybUGg.cspx

One Person

On the news I said "If it helps even one person, then it was worth it." Hoping it would help way more, but being okay with never "really" knowing.

I never expected to get to see the miracle first hand. But yesterday I did....

I go to volunteer on Thursdays at a rehab. I help with their book study. At the very end of the meeting I always ask if anyone has a burning desire. No one ever really does. But yesterday a new client did. She said "I just want you to know your People article is the reason I am here" I quickly teared up. She had read the article many times and knew she had a problem. Her bottom was when she drove her grandchildren to the store after having a few glasses of wine. She went home and told her husband she needed help. She found The Journey at Sundance on-line, having no clue it was the place I volunteered. Later she shared with me that the People article scared her. She said "I saw myself in writing." I am so proud of her. Asking for help is the hardest part, but it is also when healing can begin.

I am so blessed to have gotten to meet someone the article helped. Thank you God and Bless this amazing Wife, Mom and Grandmother on her journey!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Driving is a Privilage

Okay so when I got my DUI 2 years ago I lost my license for a year. It is normally only 3 months, but in Arizona if you refuse the blood test you automatically lose it for a year. I was a stubborn drunk and of course refused (I do not suggest doing that, they just come to the jail and take it from you anyway) Then 2 days sober I was on my way to a meeting at 6:00 in the morning and got pulled over and lost it for another year. I probably could have fought that ticket (I had yet to get anything in the mail from the DMV) but I knew it was suspended and I knew if I wanted to stay sober I had to start telling the truth.

Everyone asked me "How do you not drive when you have kids?" my answer is good friends. Thank you John, Tami, Monica, Seth, Nancy, Chris and the girls, Lori, Ken and everyone who gave me rides to meetings. And a special thanks to all the people who drove Beau and Gavin places. That was the hardest part, I knew I deserved it but they didn't. My kids are amazing they took it with grace and very rarely complained. Thank you everyone!

I am eligible to get my license back in 7 days. I cannot afford it yet, but it will be a big day in my sobriety. Did I feel sorry for myself for not being able to drive, sure a few times. But I knew that there was a reason for it and I respect that. I have prayed about getting it back and told God I don't want it if it's going to lead me to a relapse. So I will wait and respect the process.

And yes I have to have one of those damn breathalyzers...now that sucks!

Here are some of the many things I am excited to do......
Going to a meeting anytime I want
Going garage sale shopping with Gavie on Saturday mornings
Going to the mall all by myself
Going to a meeting anytime I want
Going to visit my girls in LA
Going to Church
Going to the grocery store when I need to
Taking Brinkley (my yellow Lab) to the dog park
Taking the kids places!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Bobble Head

Thank you to everyone that watched and commented on the news video from last night. I really appreciate it. I am so tickled about how it went. They talked about recovery and life after...which really makes me happy! The only thing I would have changed is the fact I came off like a bobble head (hehe, LOL) So bobblie, but whatever, that's so not the point. Thanks for watching guys! I hope everyone has a safe and blessed Veterans Day. Em

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The News

I am going to be on the local news tonight (ABC channel 15 at 10:00). I am a little nervous. I am starting to ask myself questions that are not in my control. Are they going to talk about what a gift recovery is? Did they respect that I don't want mentioned the name of the program I got sober in? Is it going to help anyone? When I do press I am doing it to help people, that is the only reason. The outcome isn't mine. I have to trust that even though it may not turn out the way I think it should, it is still helping people. It is not about me. It is about getting the message across that you can have a fun, happy and wonderful life without alcohol.

It went really well. I will post it as soon as I figure out how. It is way past my bedtime so I'm off to bed with a grateful heart! Good-night everyone, sleep well! Em




"isms"

If you are my facebook friend you may know all about "isms." In emilyism.com world an "ism" is something funny someone says.

Here is how it works if you say or e-mail me something funny and I use it, I will give you an "ism." I give the "ism" to the person I hear it from. If you know the actual author please let me know and I will give credit to both of you. It would be impossible to know where every quote actually came from. Most everything is a Godism anyway, but I talked to him and he said he didn't mind.

Here are some examples....

"I need a mental douche" tamism

"Please let me know if I get too big for my britches, you know how badly I want to fit in my skinny jeans" emilyism

"Pulling a brittany" sashaism

Fun right!? If anyone feels like sharing an "ism" or a story please e-mail me at emilyism.com@gmail.com

God is super smart!

The other day my best friend boyfriend guy John said "You are so much smarter than I thought you were" Here's the deal I am not. God is so much smarter than I am. I have gotten blessed throughout this entire deal. I know nothing about computers, yet run a blog. I know nothing about business and have a very hard time asking for what I am worth, yet I have ads on here. Besides sobriety I have never stuck with anything, but am sticking with this. Thank you so much guys for your love and support! Em

Monday, November 9, 2009

PMS

Okay I said I would blog about PMS...here it goes. Once a month for about 4 days I am a mess. I am tired, cranky and sometimes down right mean. I am normally a very patient person, those 4 days...not so much! It is like clock work, you'd think my kids and boyfriend guy would get that, but nope! Now I know there is no excuse for bad behavior but I kinda look at it like I used to be that way all the time in my drinking days, 100 times worse really. So it would be nice if my loved ones would cut me some slack. And in the mean time I will watch my sugar intake, get enough sleep and maybe make a doctors appointment and see what can be done about this problem.

Other than that I am having a great day! My Internet was down this morning so I cleaned a little. I ate a good lunch and am in a pretty good mood...maybe we are on day 5:)

I feel blessed right now, sobriety had taught me patience and today I needed a lot! I am trying to get my friend Bill's ad up. http://www.usendu.com/ is an amazing site and I really want the ad up and working by tomorrow. I talked to my website helper and we cannot figure out why it's not working. The logo looks great then you click on it and it takes you to the site, but the envelope that is supposed to show up and open doesn't. If anyone knows how to fix this please let me know. I feel so blessed to have sobriety though...The old me would have freaked, but I didn't. Sure I want it done, but I know it will be in God's time, not mine. Off to say a little prayer about it:)

The Reporter

So I accidentally deleted the story about the reporter. Here it is again....

If you follow my tweets the last thing I tweeted was, "I am a cranky ass, going to take a nap." While I was taking that nap something amazing happened...Beau came in and woke me up "Mom...Mom get up there is a reporter from ABC at the door."Beau is a totally honest kid, but also a huge joker so I was like "Come on Beau there is not" he was like "Mom there is too, get up." I asked him if he pinkie promised and he said "Yup" So I got up and sure enough there was a sweet reporter from ABC channel 15 at the door. She asked if I would do an interview. I asked her to come back in an hour so I could make the calls I needed to and brush my hair (I did just get up from a nap after all) The interview went great. I got to talk all about recovery, which you know made me happy!

It will air on ABC channel 15 on Tuesday the 10th at 10:00 pm. It is on the Arizona local news so I will try and post it on here for family and friends out of town to see.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Sobriety Sunday

I am going to blog throughout the day about sobriety....If you have any questions or comments please leave them. If you want to e-mail me directly do so at emilyism.com@gmail.com. Please trust me when I say you are never bothering me! Helping other people get and stay sober keeps me sober. It is my honor to help anyone that asks, if I can.

Here is an entry from my journal...

3 1/2 months sober
I am having a hard time with something and I have no idea what it is, my heart feels heavy. What is my problem (um...you're 3 months sober, now I know that was the problem) I know I should be grateful, and I am...that is all I can do. (yup, stay in gratitude:)
I have no idea who I am, I feel at a loss for words. I feel boring and that I have no personality. I want to help people. I want to be funny, maybe I'm just not meant to be funny. I want to be the person that God wants me to be, but who the heck that is I have no clue!

I am so grateful I journaled my first year! There is one entry that says "I hope one day I can look back at this and have it be a faded memory." It so is now. I hope by me sharing my journal with you it makes you feel a little less alone. It gets better...I PROMISE! Emily

I am off to a meeting with my friend Stacy.

K, I'm back. Went to a meeting, got a hair-cut then took a nap. Sundays are great!

Here's a little more from my journal.....

7 months sober
I am finally learning how to turn my thoughts over. But I still walk around with an uncomfortable feeling, it is wearing on me. God please guide me and show me how to heal.

11 months sober
O' my God, life is amazing. Thank you God. I have never ever been happier.

Has every second of sobriety since then been bliss...no. I have suffered a depression in sobriety, been poor, almost homeless and cried a ton. What sobriety has given me is the tools to deal with anything that comes my way sober and with grace. Here is some wise advice my sponsor gave me "Don't drink, not even if your ass falls off."


Saturday, November 7, 2009

Go Big Red!!

K, so I love going to watch Nebraska games. So funny, because I am totally not from Nebraska, never even been in fact. But I love the fans. Everyone wearing red, doing cheers and getting all pumped up! I have found Nebraska Husker fans to be amazing people, with a shit load of team spirit and patience, come to find out they have been on a bit of a losing streak (like 4 years) See amazing fans. I thought they won every time with the attitude of the crowd! GO BIG RED...GO BIG RED! Thanks Robby for the cool sweatshirt, it makes me feel like a "real" Husker fan!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Football

My oldest son Beau played freshman football this year. They were a really good little team, 7 and 2 in fact!

He loved it and wants to play all the way through high school. I couldn't be happier about that. Here are some reasons why...when a player gets hurt from either team the whole team gets down on one knee(such respect), the strength behind a team is amazing and being a single Mom you can use all the help you can get. They listen to their coaches way more than they do their parents. Here is an example, "Mom guess what coach said, he said high school is all about time management" I must have told Beau that like a million times, but coach says it and he hears it. I could care less who he gets the message from as long as he gets it.

This week they had the football banquet. Here is a quote from one of the coaches "Your son will walk out of -----high school a better person, a better son, a better brother and one day a better husband and father" Music to a Mother's ears! Thank you freshman Coaches! I am so grateful for the time you put in to make these boys better men. Let me know where I can sign up to get you guys a raise:)

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The First week of Sobriety

This is an actual journal entry written in the first week of my sobriety...

November 2007
Somewhere in my brain I always knew that sobriety was my only hope, but I fought it until the bitter end. Until my life was so out of control so unmanageable that I had no choice.

This is the hardest thing I have ever done. I am scared. I am sad. All I can think about is drinking. I know they say One Day at a Time, but for me it is minute by minute. The constant craving in my body is almost painful. I want it gone, I will pray. I know everyone goes through this, people in meetings understand. I know I better reach out or I will fall flat on my face. I can not do this alone. Tonight I will.

On a positive note I am getting things done that I would have put off. I can now get out of bed in the morning and I wake up in a good mood to meet the day. It is not all bad just very very hard. Emily

"Don't give up before your miracle" my sponsorsism

If you are in the beginning of your journey in sobriety...I can promise you this, there is a miracle on the other side of the rainbow and it is better than any old pot of gold.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Coming soon

Ads will soon be running on the side of my site (not to worry no pop-ups)... Please know that each and every ad I run has been hand picked by me. I either use the business myself, know and trust someone who has used the business or think highly of the business or business owner. The fact I am about to have ads running of products that I think are great is a dream come true! Please visit their sites often.
Thank you,
Emily

Monday, November 2, 2009

Internet dating

K, so I Internet dated last month for like a minute. This is why it was so brief...

My friend comes over and is telling me about this guy she met online. He has 3 kids the same age as hers,looks super cute in his pictures and seems like a nice guy. They chat for a few weeks then finally meet for dinner. K, girls this is a deal breaker...he walks in on his cell phone, doesn't ever get off to say hi. How rude! So she sits there thinking maybe it's his kids or work. But, nope just a buddy. There was no spark anyway. So we turned him from 3 kid guy to cell phone guy.

The deal with me is I'm not really ready to date, I am more ready to think about dating. So I was playing around on the site and along comes this nice guy who looks super handsome in his pictures. He has 4 kids and one of them is a baby. A bit of a red flag, but I love babies so I ignored it. We chat for awhile then he messages me that I seemed normal and gave me his number. I called and we talked for awhile. I was kinda excited about it.

So my friend comes to pick me up for Girls Night Out and shes says "Show me, Show me"
so I do and she goes "OMG that's cell phone guy" and I'm like "No flipping way you mean 3 kid guy" "He's really 4 kid guy" "Douche!" When we were talking he went on and on about living in a small town so I text him...You know how you said Timbuktu was a small town? Well come to find out so is Scottsdale, really cool girl is one of my closest friends. He asked if that bothered me...Um, really?...YES!

Forgiveness

To Whom It May Concern,

Today it became clear to me that not everyone can be an Emily fan.

When I am angry or sad or resentful at someone it feels bad and because of my sobriety, I now know what to do. I do step work then I ask God to help me forgive them and myself. I usually wake up free of resentments and anger. I'm just now getting that not everyone does that. Really, I kinda knew that but it's easy to ignore until it hurts someone.

If you are mad at me or sad with me, if I did something to hurt you, I am sorry. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to make it right.

I love you,
Emily

Sunday, November 1, 2009

People



My moment

The other day I had a moment. I was in the grocery store and I saw the new People out in the checkout line. I had that "Do I stand the test of time" moment. What will I write about next? I came home and looked through my mountains of quotes and stories that I have collected and nothing I mean nothing sparked a story. I felt fear for a moment, then I did what I have been taught to do...I asked God. He said "Write about your day silly!" And that's what I have been doing since then. Thanks God!