Saturday, October 31, 2009

Halloween

So far Halloween has been lonely. I handed out candy all by myself. Holidays alone suck. I am just sad right now. I know, I know...pour me pour me pour me another drink. I am going to allow myself a moment of self-pity... moment over!

Then Gavie (my 9 year old) and his friends walked over from his Dad's to get pictures taken and grab a soda...so I still feel a bit heavy hearted...but much better!

Maybe it's not lonely or sad at all. So many amazing thing are happening in my life right now that I have every feeling you can name... and drunks like me we aren't used to feeling our feelings as when you are drunk you don't really have to. So I'm going to kinda enjoy the moment..a kind of success let's say...to being sober and feeling my feelings (good or bad:)

I am going to walk down to my neighbor's party and Beau (my 14 year old) and his crew will be home shortly. So check back later.....

K, I'm back. The neighbor's party, GREAT. It was a perfect mix of a adult party and a kid party a "Family Party". There was wonderful food, kids decorating cookies, very funny costumes and great people there. Loved it! It is still a bit weird to me when people can have parties without the main focus being alcohol. Sure some people were drinking but again not the main focus. Thanks guys for having me!

Yeah...this night keeps getting better and better. Gavin and his best friend Travis decided to spend the night here. I love a house full of kids! I know it's probably cause I have sodas, Call of Duty online and let them eat all the candy they want. But who cares why I am happy they're here. Still waiting on Beau and his crew. Could be trouble:)

Girls Night Out

I feel that it is important that you get to know the "real" me. Yes, I am a woman in recovery which is a huge part of my life, but not my whole life.

So with that being said every other Friday is girls night out. All of our kids are with their Dads. We decided long ago that no matter what, we would do girls night out twice a month... here are the reasons for that....It helps us never get completely wrapped up in a man again, it is the best therapy in town and we have all been in that place where we let all of our friendships go and feel completely alone. So I think girls night out ROCKS!

Last night was special as we turned GNO into date night. John and I (John is my boyfriend best friend guy. We have been off and on again for 4 years. We are off right now, but when it comes to checking out a new man for Tams he's the best guy for the job:) went with Tami and her new man to DJ's to get to know him. So here's what we thought um...GREAT GUY! He treats her like an angel, is super down to earth and opened the door for her. Eric we like you! John says "We love you man." Go Tami...We are soooo happy for you!

Yes, we go the bar. The same bar I drank in ( the bartenders know me and care about me, they are very happy I am sober as I was a huge pain in their ass when I was drinking:) Some people in recovery can never go to bars again. If you are one of them don't! I did not go into a bar for about the first year of my sobriety. But, if I am spiritually fit I am all good.

Tired Blogger

I am super tired. But I didn't want to go a day without blogging. I am learning that I am going to have to get a cell phone to blog from...all in God's time! .... When I started the PEOPLE thing I really thought I wanted to be on talk shows. Then the People reporter called and told me they were going to talk about it on Oprah. Only talk about it, and that gave me a bit of anxiety. They spoke nothing of recovery, it pissed me off, I wanted so badly for someone to talk about where to get sober and how Great sobriety was. I thought to myself..."Why don't you share at every meeting you can" then my friend called and asked me to share today...She must have been reading my mind! It went really well... I wrote some of what I was going to say so I didn't freeze, as microphones make me super nervous. My whole story takes about 7 minutes add people and this site and we're at 10. I don't think anyone minded it gave more time for more people to share after the meeting and Alcoholics love to talk about themselves:)

Every other Friday is girls night out. This week we turned it into date night as Tami (Tami is one of my best girlfriends and will be blogged about often) has a new boyfriend and wanted to know what we thought of him....Come back tommorow for the 3 kid turn 4 kid internet dating story and to hear what we really thought about Tami's new man....



I just looked at the clock and I guess I did go a day without blogging, but not really. Good Night!

Thursday, October 29, 2009

My Women's meeting

Thursday is my Women's Meeting. It is my favorite meeting of all! The Women there know me, they know I just went through a break-up, they know how scared I was to do People, they really care about how I am doing. I love them all. That is such a gift of sobriety caring about people. When I was drinking all I cared about was myself. It was a great meeting! I would tell you more but what you hear at a meeting stays at a meeting. I will share this with you...I got to hold an adorable 6 week old puppy almost the entire meeting. She was crying so I walked her around the room just like a baby. She was soooo cute! Here is a picture...

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Crazy Day

Today was the craziest day ever! First I tried to get my twitter to post to my Facebook fan page for like an hour. Then evilbeet kept popping up, which is good with me because I love evilbeet. So I decide to join their fan page and while I was there I decided to go to read evilbeet and found myself on their "Our Evil Cohorts" blog roll. Which I blogged about already and was like 10 times more excited that post. The truth is Sasha is a Monster is my favorite of all her sites. I read evilbeet for the amazing writing, I don't really care much about celebrities gossip. But I do care about Sasha...when I hear or see someone being mean to her I want to reach through the computer and choke them (but, that is not sober behavior so lets pretend I didn't say it) She is courageous and shares about a topic that most people are scared to. On top of that she is a super cool chick...I mean really kickball and ballet..RAD RIGHT!? Then the tweet that I wanted to show up to my facebook magically did:)

Next I tweeted that I was going to coffee and this is what I ended up doing...going to coffee, stopping at the DMV, dropping off some cable boxes at the cable place, picking up a wireless router, getting Beau something to eat and then going to Gavins parent teacher conference. I know my blog is new but you should know this about me, I am a 1 meeting, 1 errand or activity a day kinda girl. I have to remember that I am still sick and even though I am much, much better than I was and am happier than I ever have been if I don't take really good care of myself I will go right back to where I came from. I needed a nap by 11 today and the truth is I take a nap almost everyday.
Emilyism.com is now on evilbeets blogroll http://evilbeetgossip.film.com/ You have no idea what that means to me. I often click through their 'Our Evil Cohearts' and know when I do it is a guaranteed good read! Sasha,I want you to know I have the utmost respect for you. You put yourself out there everyday and talk about issues that most people are scared to even touch. Thank you Sasha Pasulka. You are my internet hero!


Monday, October 26, 2009

Growing up I must have heard don't air your dirty laundry a million times. To some extent I agree. I mean really, do people need to hear every dramatic detail of anyone's life? My Mom was nervous about the People article, rightfully so when it comes to airing dirty laundry could I have done it any more publicly? We had a quick talk about how I may be sharing my story even more publicly if I feel it could help someone, explained that our generation is kinda trying to fix damage that the don't air your dirty laundry generation had done. That whole don't tell anyone , don't ask for help. She understood. I am so proud of her! My Mom called me after she read the article and said "Well sweetie, I think it was lovely and tastefully done. But, you know how I feel about airing our linens" momism

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Next year the only part of Fall Festival I am running is the booth volunteers. I figure if you complain about something you just got yourself a new job. I am going to double book all the booths. Lets see if that works. My big project for next year is to start a service learning program at the school.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

The Fall Festival was WONDERFUL!! The kids loved it and had an amazing time. I sure did say sure a lot...but it was my honor to be a part of such a huge community event. To know that when a problem arises that it is really not a "real" problem is pretty amazing. "There is no one to run the lollipop booth" some see this as a problem, me not so much "Then close it" easy as that...see not a "real" problem. But here's the deal if parents can't help for 30 minutes in their child's classroom booth then they kinda suck...which may be a real problem, but it is not mine. Don't get me wrong I was sometimes the kind that sucked...When my kids were younger I really wanted and needed to walk around and play with them...in the latter years you can pretty much figure out why I wasn't in a booth by reading my story in PEOPLE. What I am most grateful for tonight is for the many parents and volunteers that stayed in booths all night instead of closing them. When I asked the 3 boys I have spending the night tonight what their favorite part of the festival was...They said "Hanging with friends, the haunted house and the booths" Gavinism,Travism, Brandonism (they think getting their own "isms" is very cool!)
Today is Gavin's big Fall Festival. I don't feel nervous or frazzled about it. God is in charge along with many busy PTO Moms. Thank you Jennifer, Missy and Pauline - without you there would be no festival. I know it will be great! I will blog about it when it is over. Have a wonderful day everyone!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Please note..."I said, I tried to hide my drinking not that I did a good job at it. Everyone that knows and loves me knew I had a problem" What they did not know was how to help me which is why I shared my story. If you need help, think you may have a drinking problem or have any questions please e-mail me directly at emilyism.com@gmail.com

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Sharing my story in People was one of the scariest things I have ever done. I mean really, I hadn't even broken my anonymity on my Facebook page, and everyone on there knows I'm sober. But if my story can help even one person then it is well worth it! In the People article it states "the pictures were taken at the rehab where Emily volunteers"....I just want you to know the name of that wonderful, amazing rehab....
The Journey at SunDance




When I first got sober I had hope, hope that I could do it, hope that life would get better, hope that I would one day laugh again (for my first few months when people would laugh in meetings I would think what the hell are they laughing about) but it gave me hope. I now know that faith is just hope with a track record.

Monday, October 19, 2009

YOU AND GOD
People are ofter unreasonable, irrational and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating others could destroy over night.
Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have and it may never be good enough.
Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never meant to be between you and them anyway.
-Mother Teresa

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Let your Light Shine
Our deepest fear isn't that we are inadequate, it is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, fabulous, talented?" Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God....

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Monday, October 12, 2009

Dear Lord,
Please help us to do the things we should. To be to others kind and good. In all our work and all our play, to grow more loving everyday. Amen
Formal education will make you a living.
Self education will make you a fortune!

Monday, October 5, 2009

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right"
-Henry Ford

Sunday, October 4, 2009

"The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground"

Friday, October 2, 2009

Pay it forward....scroll through your phone and call someone you know is having a hard time.